Winter

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It has been snowing. Trees that have shed their leaves earlier are less burdened by the snow. Pine trees, which are evergreen, do not shed their leaves and therefore catch more snow. Many of them got too heavy their branches snapped and fell.

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Then, it occurred to me that likewise, if I were to shed my attachments, I will have less emotional pains when adversity snow down on me. Perhaps, we humans too should have our personal 'autumns' when we shed our attachments, such that our emotional burdens will be manageable and that we won't snap and fall!

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It is the Law of Cycles.

It says:

The world of nature exists within a larger pattern of cycles, such as day and night and the passing of the seasons. The seasons do not push one another. Neither do clouds race the wind across the sky. All things happen in good time. Everything has a time to rise, and a time to fall. Whatever rises, falls and whatever falls shall rise again. That is the principle of cycles.

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In Sickness or In Health 4

My Internet connection stopped a few days ago, as my provider had upgraded their signals and my modem can no longer synchronise. When the modem cannot synchronise it cannot connect with the Internet. In much the same way, when we cannot sychronise, we cannot connect to the universe.

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So I bought a new modem to replace the old one. As I was still not feeling too well, I left it on the desk for a day. Mentally too tired to read manuals and install the modem. My impatient housemate then offered to do it. However, instead of using the power adaptor for the new modem, she was lazy and used the old one. She just took the electric cable of the old modem and plug it into the new modem. In doing so, she instantly burned the new modem. The voltage was too high for the new modem. She blew the new modem and thus we still cannot connect. Metaphorically and drawing parallels to spirituality, if we put too much pressure on someone to self-realise, it wouldn't work. He/she will still not connect. Thus religions and spiritualism cannot be forced.

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Having no Internet connection has its plus points, as I spend more time doing other things that needed doing. Most of all, to spend time by myself and walking in nature. Though walking even short distances at this time still made me pant (as I am still not fully recovered), it was still very pleasant overall.

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During this time, a friend of mine moved in to my place. I think we both have positive influences on each other. He comes from the Mid West of America where people go to bed soon after sunset and he still diligently follows that. Without the Internet and someone to talk to at home, I too sleep early and wake up early.

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We also go for our regular bicycle rides along the beaches. Though he has lived in Singapore for a while, he hasn't seen these places. Over the years, he has been busy rushing around. This is his period of transition before moving to the next phase of his life. He is often impatient. I told him not to. Everything happens for a reason and we must capture every opportunity to enjoy the very moment. In this case, the period of tranquility and peace. Soon we will all be very busy rushing again. So enjoy the peace now.

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I found this video clip from Eckhart Tolle. Watch this. He explains the power of Now very well.

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In Sickness or In Health 3

The flu went on but I continued with my experiment with myself to see if I can keep my mind above all the backaches, giddiness, cough, drowsiness and fever. I managed quite well. I told myself that since my energy was so low, every ounce was precious and many incidents and issues that normally would have mattered to me ordinarily would not be allowed to matter. Then incidentally, one of my business associates at this time was still calling me and was very unreasonable, but it didn't affect me. I was proud that I stayed above it all. It reminds me of the saying, "If you didn't mind, it didn't matter."

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This went on well. Then gradually I got better. First the cough went, then the backache went, I could then breathe better and feel less drowsy. During this period, the same bothersome business associate came back and was persistent with his unreasonableness despite knowing that I was unwell. This time he did irritate me! "How come?" I wondered. I shouldn't be irritated since I am feeling better now. I should be able to see above everything else even better now that I feel better. Why can't I be above it all like when I was hardly breathing?

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At this point, I realised that at the time when I was physically weakest, my faith was strongest. Then, I knew that I could not afford to waste any bit of energy left in my body. However, as the body recovers, physical comfort slipped in and I had gradually allowed my mind to descend to the usual pettiness! Oh dear! How did I allow that?! :)

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I remember a time in Singapore when most of us were poor. Physical comfort, if at all, was very spartan but we didn't know any better. Everybody helped everybody else within strong communities and I could not remember anyone feeling lonely or uncared for. Fast forward forty years on and you now find most people keeping to themselves in their flat after work, watching television, surfing the Internet or indulging in their own material comforts. Now do we find lonely people.

In Sickness or In Health

I am not feeling too well of late. It's strange how just a few days ago, I was well and running around and the next moment I'm down with fever and flu. Now, my whole body aches and I struggle just to walk a short distance. It is like a dizzy and surreal walk on a floating pontoon. I can't make sense of what seemed common-sense in better days. I can't even look for something that is right in front of me! I take a long time to make sense of what others say to me. Data retention in my mind seems so hard. It is unbearable even to lie in bed with this acheing body and a persistent painful thundering cough that makes my body curl.

"In this situation, is it possible to be 'above it all'?", I wonder. This is what Father Anthony De Mello said. Is it possible to accept it and not fight it? Father De Mello said that our happiness must not be dependent on anything (including good health), for if we are attached to it, we lose our happiness. That means, to be happy even when we are sick! It is indeed sobering now to 'walk the talk' to see if I can really be happy.

Then, as I logged into my email, I got this message in my daily contemplation subscription:


Do not lose your inward peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. -- Saint Francis de Sales

post scriptum: It is a big struggle to put up this post, but I thought it is best to write it now while I am totally in the midst of it. :)

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Here's someone whom I think is above it all. She is six years old. That's probably why. :)
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