Remembering Chang Yew Kee

Two days ago, an old friend, Chang Yew Kee, died of a heart attack in his sleep. He was only 49. We were old Polytechnic friends and didn't get to meet after my departure from Singapore, and then we lost contact of each other soon after. 

During our Poly days, we were members of the Welfare Services Club. Then, we served the underprivileged in the Homes every weekend. It was also during this time that I learned the concept of the Buddhist espoused 'Cause-and-Effect' philosophy from Yew Kee. He also told me that he often pondered about the Buddhist ideal of ridding oneself of all desires, and that he would probably not be able to do so completely. This is something I ponder deeply myself too, till this day. 

It is important to treasure friends and express gratitude to them when they are still around. Truly, we don't know what comes next and when our time is up in this human incarnation. That is why I live everyday as if it is my last. I think it is better this way.

Lastly, I would like to take this chance to say a big 'thank you' to all my friends. Thank you for just for being my friend. 

 (Belated) Happy Valentine's Day!

Rest in Peace Yew Kee!

ps. Yew Kee has a Christian wake. I heard from his family that he converted to Christianity in the year 2000.

Gratitude

I saw these lush green shrubs and radiant flowers along the streets in Singapore today - that which is normally seen only in gardens and parks in other countries.

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I must give credit and gratitude to the National Parks Board and the Singapore Government for their endeavour to build this city as a 'city in a garden'.

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Thank you.

My Double Life

I got a couple of hours notice by text message in the evening, then rushed back to start packing and I was on the next flight to the Gulf in the morning. It was hardly a good time, as I had a flu, a bad cough and also some outstanding problems to solve in Singapore.

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So I was on board, sick, tired and troubled. But all these were quickly forgotten the moment I turned to the movie "Mama Mia", as it instantly transported me back to the ABBA-mania of the seventies. Listening to their songs this time, the lyrics cut a deeper meaning as I realised that they were mostly expressing the intricate emotional struggles in relationships. "Mama Mia" will resonate well with those who have lived through the hippie era, ABBA music, and those divorced with teenage children struggling with a small business like a guest house (as the movie is about) ! :)  Here is are some clips:

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The plane finally arrived at the destination and I was thus returned to reality just as quickly. There was a large crowd of people, mostly immigrant workers from the Indian sub-continent at the immigration posts. Then, one of the grey haired older one approached me and indicated with his hand what I thought was that he needed a pen to fill in his arrival card. Then, as I passed him my pen, he shook his head and gently pushed both the card and pen to me. Obviously, he couldn't understand English and wanted me to fill the card for him. Later, I realised he couldn't understand Arabic either. That man is illiterate! It has been a long while since I have met anyone illiterate that I have forgotten they are still around. 

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Then, as I filled in the card for him, I was shocked to find out that he is actually younger than I am. He looked like he is in his 50s but actually is only 36! Working under the hot desert sun, must have taken a toil on them and aged them many years rapidly.

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Being transported from my personal strife to the fantasy world and now into the harsh reality of migrant workers in the desert, I was mentally stretched. Still struggling with my flu and cough, already had me exhausted and so when I got out of the gates, I was so pleased to see the limo driver holding the placard with my name. By the time I reached the hotel, I just fell onto my bed and knocked out.

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The breakfast in the following morning was good, but the staff didn't look very happy. They weren't smiling and their service was very mechanical and they looked compelled. Anyway, since they have served me, I thank each of them, including the cooks and the captain before I left. After all, it was a lot of work waking up early to prepare such a big buffet and present them so beautifully.

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It is pleasant to be back in the Gulf once in a while. The people I deal with have always been pleasant and polite with me. Going back once in a while feels like I am returning to see old friends.

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Ali, one of my friends there, told me of a true incident in Dubai recently where an accountant walked away with a million dollars in his bag. He left the car at the airport. In it, he left his cut beard and a note saying that the money is for him and the beard is for them. This man had grown his beard to look like he is living like the Prophet to gain the trust of the people for the last four years. And when he finally had his chance, he ran away with the money. Ali concluded that religion is in the heart, not in the external appearances. Everything is between one's heart and God and nothing else.

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The next morning at breakfast, the waiters brightened up and smiled as they saw me. One of them even asked how I was. It was a contrasting difference and a pleasant surprise. They must have felt appreciated yesterday and therefore were more motivated.  It goes to show that a bit of gratitude goes a long way!

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After breakfast, it's time to check out and head for the airport later in the day. Then I will return to the other double life in Singapore. I sometimes wonder which one is real?

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Cat's Play

My cat likes to bring back dead mice into the house, meant as presents for me. It is his own way of saying "thank you" to me. However, I don't really want these dead creatures like, mice, frogs, birds, dragon flies...etc, in the house as I will have to clean up and throw them out again. It is work for me. Also these creatures, including the mice, are from the woods and are not house pests, they had been minding their own business until they were caught by my cat.

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Isn't life sometimes like this? Each of us acting out our own part in our own nature, often meaning well and hoping that we fit into the grand picture?

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Like the teenage daughter bringing her 'cool and hip' friends home, to the worry of mum and dad when they meet them? Or the industrious husband coming home after a long day, only to be met by the wife's distressing naggings about his long hours at work? Or the overzealous boyfriend chasing the girl of his dream, eventually scaring her away?

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Each of them are acting out their part in their own nature, often perceived to be well meaning, but with conflicting desires, demands and results.

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Other posts:

Bucky Group - Thankful

Somedays we forget

To look around us

Somedays we can't see

The joy that surrounds us

So caught up inside ourselves

We take when we should give... more

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Bucky Group 15 - Thankful

Probably the most intellectual hair dresser shop in Singapore.
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This week we have three new faces joining us. Welcome Mano, Leela and Ema.
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In this session, we sang the song "Thankful". As we were singing, I was wondering if Joo Hock is trying to start a church! :)
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See the Youtube video and lyrics below.
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Lyrics for "Thankful"
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Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.
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So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
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Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue
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So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
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Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light
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So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more
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There's so much to be thankful for

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Discussions
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It was a beautiful song, but as it has some high pitches, some of us felt that they can't sing the song. But why should we think we can't sing? Why do we have to define singing to such a narrow definition? Just open our mouths and sing.

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In the song, we are reminded to be thankful for what we have, but Ema also mentioned that we should be thankful for what we don't have.

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Joo Hock was particularly impressed with the part,
"...Even with our differences There is a place we're all connected ..."

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I personally find that very difficult, especially with people who are lazy to think. By that, I mean they are not attentive when you are speaking to them, they don't pause to allow themselves to reason, and then blasting something totally tangent to what was spoken. I know I have to be more tolerant, but I am still learning to be how with such people.
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Hin Lan shared with us her experience when she got her class to thank the 'auntie' who was cleaning the premises, and because she was so happy that the class was so appreciative, she even went on to take care of the tea and coffee, which was not actually her job. So if we are thankful, others are more happy and they return it by serving us more.

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I have experiences in coffeeshops in Singapore where the 'aunties' collecting my plates are so down and shut off that they do not even hear what I say. And even if they do, they will give a miserable nod and move on. In other words, they are not grateful of my gratitude. Or are they? Many of them are sixty years old and still have to work for a living as a cleaner in a coffeeshop, and for a miserable salary of about $300 to $400 a month. *sigh* I seriously think there is something amiss in Singapore. The system is not functioning well somewhere.

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I usually connect with those 'aunties' by talking a lot of nonsense with them. It is not so much the content that matters. It is that they feel good acknowledged by us. I find this to work quite well.

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Clinton got a reverse experience with one cleaner apologising to him with a wide smile for having to clean the place where he was to walk over.

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One of the participants mentioned that his mother connects with him by picking up a quarrel. To her, quarreling seems to be a way to connect to her son. Perhaps he should tell his mum he loves her. Perhaps this is just what she needed to hear. Love has to be expressed. Well, the girls in the group sugggested this, but I got the feeling that it will be quite a task to reverse 30 odd years of habit and conditioning! :)

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Yes, we ought to learn to be a more gracious society. One of us say that we will never be a gracious society. Lee Kuan Yew say it will take Singapore another 50 years. "But, never say 'never'", says Annabelle. In the song, it says that we should still hope for, what we still can't see.

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Post mortem

Usually, we gather for coffee after the session, for more informal and more unstructured discussions.

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The Bucky Group is evolving more and more to be a University of Life. We come from different walks of life, racial groups, religions and educational level. One of them whom I spoke to didn't even have 'O' Level qualifications (Year 10), but I would not know if he hadn't told me. He left school when he was 16 and since then has embarked on lots of self-learning. I would like to watch him engaged in intellectual discussions with some university graduates and give the latter a run for their money. I find graduates these days are no longer really educated worldly wise. They seem to have let school get in the way of their education, as Mark Twain said.

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Now the Bucky University that we have in mind should focus on the non-mainstream people, as the mainstream is already well catered for. Soon, there will be four universities in Singapore, plus many other universities with representative private schools. Perhaps we should cater for late bloomers that didn't like school when they were 16 or 'aunties' who eventually retire as cleaners because their kids want them to retire and enjoy their old age.

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And learning need not be classroom style. Futurist and author Alvin Toffler says that we cannot assume that only teachers teach, as we learn most of our stuff outside school. Bucky says that the future university will be documentary movie production studios, where therafter, students from different geographic locations can assess these documentaries to learn. Actually, YouTube is fast becoming one.

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In Singapore, Republic Polytechnic is a tertiary institution that does not conduct lectures. Instead, assignments are issued every morning by email and students are to do their own research and hand them in before the deadline, which is usually by the end of the day. There are also no exams, so it is continuous assessment with occassional presentations in a class.

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Most of all, the Bucky University must keep the spontaneous spirit of the Bucky Group. Future funding which bring in full-time premises and administrative staff, must not dampen or change such spirits. Costs should also be kept to the minimum, so that we don't have to focus on fund raising.

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We can exploit the Internet fuller. Using email mailing list, is really passe. While we have a Facebook account, not many people are actively using it. Future dissemination of information should happen via Facebook (click here) and not conventional emails. In facebook, discussions can happen not only with Bucky Group Singapore, but anyone around the world. What more we can exploit the power of pictures, text and sound. In future Bucky Group sessions, we can even assess YouTube Clips or relevant blogs directly via the Internet. For that, we have to be thankful for the millions of volunteer bloggers and YouTube posters out there, preparing the learning materials for us. Such is the rise of the 'prosumer', as what Toffler said. Thank you!