Focus

Thoughts become things. What you think manifests. It all starts with  a thought. This is the Law of Attraction.

But why didn't some of your thoughts come true?

To be more exact, only strong thoughts that you truly believe in can manifest. Everyday we have thousands of thoughts in our mind every minute competing to manifest . So only the strongest manifest. The weak ones fade away.

However, your thoughts can only be strong if you believe in them.

For instance, if you shout aloud every morning that you are a billionaire hoping that you will become one on mere affirmation, you  are unlikely to succeed. Fact is that you know how much you have in your bank account. In fact, effectively you are telling yourself, "Who are you kidding?..." So, instead of a positive affirmation to move towards your goal, you have helped yourself moved away from your goal unwittingly.

A more workable affirmation can be something like, "Ï have more than enough money to spend everyday!" This will work whether you have a million dollars left in the bank at the end of each day or just a few dollars. It is something you can believe wholeheartedly without feeling like a rotten liar. Particularly if you had realised that you are persistently lying to yourself.

Once you believe in your thoughts, you will have to be able to focus on your thoughts. Focus will add energy to your thoughts so that they will become forms. Monkey minds that jump around from one frivolous thought to another will not succeed. Focus is probably the hardest part.

Meditation increases focus and cuts out clutter. There are different meditation techniques available. Try out several techniques and choose one most suitable for yourself.  For instance, if you are physically hyperactive, you may like to try walking meditation. If you are musically inclined, listen to classical music but follow the sound of one instrument. If you are sensitive to vibrations, try chakra meditation. Some techniques focus on the photo of a guru, some the tip of a candle flame,...etc. Whichever method, they all teach you to focus.

I learned a technique recently that focuses on a humble black dot on a white surface. I find it more effective than using the other objects, as it is something so simple and mundane that it is easy to move your eye away if you are not focusing

A black dot is more mundane than the beautiful tip of a candle flame and more neutral than the face of a guru. There is nothing interesting about the black dot other than using it as a focusing exercise. Using a beautiful or profound object on the other hand distracts you, but fool you into believing that you are focusing well.

Practise focusing. For unless you can focus, you cannot have strong thoughts and therefore they will not manifest. Instead, other thoughts that are relatively stronger will manifest. And they can be any other lingering thoughts that you are not aware of.

The dangerous part is that we are mostly unaware of what  we are thinking of, until it is too late. In other words, it is difficult to track the mind with the mind itself. So harbour healthy thoughts. Allow yourself to react to situations and even be angry about them, as being positive does not mean that you should become blind to negative things around you. Observe, but not judge.  But after allowing yourself the spontaneous emotions, tell yourself not to allow those unwanted  thoughts to fester.

Set yourself some thought checkpoints and motivations. Tell yourself that you don't want to have ugly thoughts because it will give you an ugly face. Ultimately, it feels better to be positive than negative and it is easier to love than to hate. Positive thoughts energise. Negative thoughts wear you out. When you are tired, you also run the risk of poor judgment and slipping down the slippery slope into  calamities. So have enough rest and sleep too. They are essential ingredients to success.

I find acting and role playing an effective method for self realisation. As it allows me to go through the emotions and results of a scene sincerely.

If acting is  too hard, you may like use the state of your bedroom or house as a measurement of how clear or cluttered your mind is, as what is outside is inside, and vice versa. Clear the clutter outside and the inside too clears. This is an easy checkpoint.

Some people go into hypnosis to understand their subconscious thoughts. I simply record my dreams when I wake up in a diary. I find it very useful to check my thoughts and to  make the necessary corrections.

Minimise the use of technology where possible, particularly the use of smartphones. They are one major cause of monkey minds in today's world.

All the people that I have met that are successful are those who are able to focus on their thoughts that they truly believe in. None of them have monkey minds.

So why are gurus only teaching you the Law of Attraction skin deep? I suspect that they may not know some of the finer points which I have discovered the painful and hard way. Most gurus are money motivated. They are mostly selling generalised motherhood statements. Some boast of very successful students out of their large cohorts. By the law of big numbers, if you put enough people there, some will come out successful accidentally.

What we want is a method that works consistently. I have discovered that it is mostly to do with the ability to focus. If you can focus well, everything will fall in place smoothly. If they are not falling in place smoothly, that means that you are not focusing well enough.

IMPORTANT: Do not confuse being 'focused' with being 'stubborn and attached'. They are mutually exclusive.

NOTE: I am not trying to sell you any motivation seminars or magic crystals, but just sharing something I have discovered recently and have found them to yield the results I want. In fact,  you are likely to  have already known of what I have shared, except that may be you have not put them together clear enough such that your mental gears engage.

Thoughts, Words and Action

There are a few Hokkien spewing uncles behind the bus I took today. They sweared at each other to say "hello". Then they proceeded to chat at full blast volume about 4D lottery numbers and karaoke go-go girls, in between spicing their lines swearing their mother's fannies away.

By the time they were getting off the bus they had already fucked up their entire clan and ancestry. Then finally, they bade each other farewell like best friends or brothers.

What a show?!

Evidently, they didn't mean any of the profanity they hurled at each other. In other words, their thoughts, words and action didn't really match totally. Life would be simpler if our thoughts, words and actions matches I think.

For the case of these uncles, they were all eager to let out their penned up frustrations the moment they see each other - their best friends. That's my explanation for their odd mismatches. I would check my thoughts if I were them, for they become words and the danger is when they manifest to become actions. They probably will not manifest as in their words, but their harsh thoughts wouldn't do them good. Why risk it?

I know of someone who once said that he was not concerned if nobody turns up for his weekly meetings at a time when there were record turn outs. I think he said that to sound as if he is detached about the turnout numbers. Fast forward a few years, now he has hardly anyone turning up for his weekly meetings. The thing was that he planted the unwanted seeds for the action to manifest.

In another case, there was a woman who consistently said that she did not like money and that the husband was not giving her money. The latter which infuriated the husband as he was giving her a lot of money regularly. Again, fast forward a few years, and now she gets nothing from the husband.

So be careful with your thoughts and words, for they wil become true in action and manifestation. 

I am going to re-examine what I say, then trace them backward to my thoughts, from today. If they are thoughts I want to seed, then I will check if I can find richer and more specific words to represent them. For then, they will manifest more precisely with less pain -  if at all.

 

 

 

Acting the Villain

Many faces, same soul.

Which one of this is the real me?

Of late, I have been playing villains. Casting directors love actors with a beard. They seem to associate beards with villains, or perhaps they are playing to the likes of audiences that love to see their villains larger than life - with beards, gold chains, tattoos and other ferocious looking ancillaries. Villain roles are tiring. As an angry and yelling screen character, the first and most affected person would be me. The rule is that whenever we get aggressive or violent, we feel lousy. Whenever we think aggressively, we feel lousy, as we would be the first recipients of such thoughts.

Thankfully, the same goes for any type of thoughts, including loving or peaceful ones, as we feel their immediate glory and peace. Loving thoughts precedes a calm and peaceful mind and it begets loving thoughts from others around us. Recently, I had the good fortune of doing a shoot by the shore of a placid lake. The environment was so congenial that I actually felt more relaxed after the shoot than when I started.

This really means that I should choose to act in more calm and peaceful films than violent and nasty ones. Sadly, there are more nasty ones around, as there is more demand for them. As Ekhart Tolle said, "... more pain films demanded by pain bodies...".

In real life, we too have to make our choices, and I would choose a peaceful story any day.

If you like to visit my actor's blog, click here.

Thoughts

For a time, I had wished I could act in a stage play, but put off the idea when I thought of the long months of rehearsals required.

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Then last week, out of the blue, I was given a role in a short play, and also a short 5 days to prepare.

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Curiously, my wish came true without the dreaded long rehearsals and yesterday, I performed two nights at the Esplanade.

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So be careful with what you think, for they will come true.

If you like to visit my actor's blog, click here.

Lunchtime in Malacca

29th May 2009

Went up to Malacca for the day. Had a very interesting conversation with my very wise friend during lunch. I don't know how we got started, but got into talking about observing our thoughts and trusting our feelings.

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When do we know that our feelings are not leading us astray?

Feelings never lead us astray. We get confused after we try to logic out the feeling. Sadly we are also not taught to recognise our feelings. Instead, we have been told not to go with our feelings and stay logical. Sometimes we are not confident of our own feelings. We do not even believe what we are feeling and therefore miss out on opportunities.

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For instance, when we were giving away free bottles of Metta health tonic, some people did not believe that there are no strings attached. They asked in disbelief, "What? No membership, no minimum sales, no compulsory keeping of stocks and even a free bottle to try?" "Can't be", they thought, "there must be a catch...". Such people will lose out because they have shut themselves off.

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So when a feeling is heard, follow it. Sometimes, the reasons are known later, sometimes, not at all, but they will guide us to flow with the Universe.

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Anyway, we should be happy no matter what. It is a bit more difficult when you have many problems, like going through a divorce, like you have just lost your job...etc. But even these unfortunate events are caused by our thoughts. There would have been a time when you may have thought, you "wished you hadn't got married", or "I am fedup with this job". They were small thoughts, but if they continued as little streams of small thoughts, they will eventually group up to become significant thought forms and take a life of their own.

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When thought forms take a life of they own, they are no longer controllable by the originator of the thought. They will carry on to manifest. They have to manifest, whether they are desirable thought forms or undesirable thought forms, the universe does not make any judgments about them. All thought forms eventually manifest to become events and things.

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It is akin to a rotten tree trunk under water. If you dive in the water, you only see a rotting log. You can't see the miniscule bubbles coming out from the trunk. But then, these little bubbles gather to form bigger bubbles and eventually when they reach the surface of the water, you can hear a 'bloop' of big bubble released into the air.

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So watch your thoughts. They eventually become 'things'. From formless thoughts to form. Then when the form 'dies', it returns to the formless.

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When we reincarnate, we no longer remember what our previous forms are.

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"So what's the point of incarnation?" I asked.

Reply: "No point. Just find joy in yourself and love."

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We live for our own joy. For instance, the Banyan tree just grow gloriously. It doesn't care what it serves you. If children would hang on their roots and swing... it is fine; if you use it as a shade to park your car under, ... it is fine. The Banyan tree does not pretend to live for you. It just continues to grow gloriously.

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Likewise, we don't have to pretend to live for others. Just live for your own joy. So if you hear somebody saying things like,"... I got a calling to heal the world...", it is much of an ego speak. The world does not need anyone to heal.

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If you are reading from facebook, click here .

Blame - The Sexy Women

Malaysian spiritual leader of Parti-Islam in reference to women who wear sexy clothes in public complained

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"We always (hear about) the abuse of children and wives in households, which is easily perceived by the eye, but the emotional abuse of men cannot be seen... Our prayers become unfocussed and our sleep is often disturbed."

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Poor fella. If only he can stop thinking about these sexy women.

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But where should the buck stop?

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It reminded me of the story of two Buddhist monks who were walking along a river to their temple. Halfway they saw a woman drowning in the river. One of the monks rushed to save the woman, carried her to the shore, and as the woman was unhurt, he left her there and proceeded with his walk.

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The second monk who didn't help started lecturing the first monk who helped, since monks are not supposed to touch women. The first monk explained that the woman would have otherwise drowned, but the second monk was not satisfied and went on and on about the first monk's misbehaviour. Feeling helpless, the first monk just kept quiet and let the complaining rant on until they reach the temple.

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At the temple, the second monk complained to the Abbot that the first monk had just touched a woman and monks are not supposed to touch women. The Abbot listened intently, smiled and replied to the second monk, "He has helped the woman, saved her from drowning and has already left her there hours ago, but you have kept that in your mind all along. So who do you think have been thinking of the woman all along?" At that point, the second monk was embarrassed and learned his valuable lesson.

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The human mind is such that by consciously not wanting to think of something, we subconsciously think of it more. This applies to everyone - monks and spiritual clerics alike.

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My other observation is that the second monk blamed the first monk for his own weakness. By blaming others, he gave up his own power of acknowledging, accepting and moving on and away from the woman. Likewise, why think of all those sexy women? Acknowledge that we are distracted, accept it and move on. Life is not all about sex!

Face Reading

Dr Aaron Lim - once upon a time in the Universe :)

Just back from a one-day seminar on "Face Reading" by Dr Aaron Lim in Malacca. We had a splendid time, both from the seminar and also gallavanting the streets of Malacca the day before.

For more pixs of our trip, click here
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[Note: The following notes are written from the first person perspective, as if Dr Aaron is speaking. However, it is not exactly ad verbatim, as I have written them based on my sketches, scribbles and memory.

The face feature interpretations are deliberately obscured in these notes. This is not a teaser to get you to pay up the fees and attend the class, but because a little knowledge derived just from the written word sans tutor, can be dangerous. To get a fuller and more complete appreciation of face reading, it is best you attend the course. The course is very cheap, as Dr A teaches this not for the money. (See later.) Sorry, I know it is a anti-climax here, but I think I would rather err on the safe side.

Ok, may be just mention of the 'juicier' parts! :) See later...]

It has been a long time since I did this course on "Face Reading", as I did not want to teach things that you may end up too reliant on, and create superstition. Superstition is based on fear. It is easier to make money by teaching fear. Many people make lots of money from teaching fear, few make money by teaching love. I teach this course to help you to understand yourself.

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Unlike many other seminars on this subject, this course is not about fortune telling. It is not about "You are what you are now because of your facial features." Conversely, it is about, "Your facial features are like that because of what what you think." So, the cause is your thoughts.

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1. Thoughts are 'things'.

This is the first thing you need to know. From thoughts come forms or 'things'. Your face is form and therefore is a 'thing'. Your face comes from your thoughts. You are here to understand the cause - that is, your thoughts - that has created this face of yours.

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Again, this is not a course to teach you how to make more money! Not about your fortune as told from your face. You already have the best fortune there is, which is your smile. When you meet someone, first smile, then say "hello", then stretch out your hand, then say "thank-you". Fortune will follow if you live like this.

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Thoughts are the centre of our lives. Learning what stones to put in which corner of your house, the orientation of your house, shape of your garden...etc, are peripherals. Put the 'centre' in the centre; and NOT the 'peripheral' in the centre, and the 'centre' in the peripheral.

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Until you were born, you didn't have a face. Then your thoughts created your facial features when you were born. So your face changed according to your thoughts, until you are 25 years old, when the bone structure are crystalised.

To change your life, you need to change the invisible - the beginning of the beginning or th beginning...

My quick sketch whilst Dr A was talking...

I grew up in a Malay kampung (village). Kampung houses are elevated on stilts and most people have wooden staircases leading up to their houses. My house has a concrete staircase, so we kids love to sit there and talk.

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Everyone would be enjoying the chat until someone mentioned the word "Hantu" (ghost) and we would freeze for a few seconds. Then surely one of us will tell us of a story, and usually one they have not experienced themselves, but "heard from someone else who heard from someone else...".

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Then as the stories got scarier, we all got more afraid until we would think that there was one next to us... and then one of us would scream and we would all run away. So you see, from 'nothing', we started this crazy idea that became 'something'.

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2. You can only change Yourself.

You cannot change anyone else but yourself. By changing your thoughts, you change yourself. Be like water. Water adapts to the shape of its receptacle without changing itself.

3. No Judgement

Nothing is 'good' or 'bad'. Look at the world as 'it is'.

4. Everything is Relative

For instance, if you say something is 'beautiful' - it is beautiful compared to 'what' or 'who'? Nothing is absolute. In face reading, compare within your race. If you are of mixed race, then use the dominant race.

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[Personal note: Cross race comparison is possible. From there, you get general racial characteristics. But know that you are generalising.]

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5. All Humans are Social Beings. No one is an island

Your success is partly due to contributions by others. Be grateful to their contributions. Say 'thank you'.

6. Everybody with no exception, wants to be loved and to love

Whoever, standing in front of you wants to be loved the way they are. Ok, careful, it's not necessarily about romantic love or wanting to make love with you! [amid chuckles!]

Ah, remember don't comment about other people's bodies. You are not going to get away with it. For instance, I was in Sarawak for a seminar and I hugged this lady. Her first comment was, "Wah! Your tummy so big!" [Chuckles]

Anyway, for this course, we are only going to look at the face, not the body. For body, there is another course called "Body reading". [Murmurs of interest heard from the audience already!]

Face vs Facial Expressions

Don't confuse facial expression with facial structure. Expression can mask the person's personality easily. Especially if you are an actor and have been to charm school.

Also, when you analyse or measure a face, that person should be as expressionless as possible. Imagine if you are being photographed when you are arrested. That is the type of photo that will tell the features accurately.

For instance, a lady student came to tell me that when she was dating, the boyfriend (and now husband) couldn't get his hands off her. They are always very physical, but now he doesn't seem to like being together. On the couch, she would like to sit next to him to cuddle and he would typically say, "Aiya, the sofa is so big, why don't you sit over there!" The girl will tend to think that he doesn't love her anymore, but he could be just a different nature. And his facial feature showed that he is the physically cold type of person who needs distance. So do not confuse between facial expressions and hormones. These come and go, but the facial features tell more accurately about a person's natural behaviour and thoughts.

Features

We studied the lines on the forehead, the shape of the forehead, the shape of the eye brows, the distance between the eye brow and the eye, the broadness of the nose, the lines from the nose to the side of the mouth, the shape and thickness of the lips, the shape of the jaw, the proportion of the distance of the eye with the length of the face, the broadness of the filtrum and the shape of the ear.

Eye brow and forehead

Distance of eyes to each other and distance of eye brow to eye

Shape of the jaw and shape of the face (which does not matter)

Square jaw - someone who will dig in his heels when challenged

Proportiion of length and breadth of face

Line from face nose to edge of lip

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Thickness of lips

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Broadness of filtrum

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Shape of ear lobe (see arrow)

Let's talk about Sex

Generally (and remember it is general), the darker skin races have a stronger sex drive. Thicker lower lips and deeper filtrum means stronger sex drive. Eye brows close to eye mean that the person is a naturally warm person, they love to hug and be hugged. They don't need much time to warm up against another person. A person with a 'high brow' far from eye does not necessarily mean that he is not loving, he can be loving, but just that he naturally needs the space in between people first and takes time to warm up.

A person with rounded/curved forehead (side profile) is a more spontaneous person, I guess that helps in sex, compared to one who is super-logical and analytical during sex.

Ear lobes: The part that is arrowed (see pix above) - if it is a rounded U-shape turn, the person needs shorter time to be aroused sexually and conversely if it is V-shape turn, the person needs a longer time to be aroused.

So which is better? Longer time or shorter time?

[Class shouting out loud: There is no better or not. There is no good or no bad! (amid laughter)]

Good, I nearly got you for this one. Yes, there is no 'good' or 'bad'. Everything is relative and there is no judgement, but just to see things as they are.

It just helps you to understand that we are all different by nature and there is nothing personal if one party is not so interested in sex. It doesn't mean that the man does not love his wife or girlfriend if he is not so interested in sex.

All the rules above must be applied together. For instance if you get someone with square jaw but long face, it means that though he has a strong determination to face challenges, but his motivation and support has to come from outside to start him off.

Personal Notes:

I find the rules apply to me very accurately accept for two rules, namely: the proportion of the length of the face to the breadth of the edges of the eyes; and the lines from the nose to the edges of the lips. Perhaps I continue to change after the age of 25 years old. By that time, the bone structure would have already crystalised.

As it was said before, this course is meant for you to understand yourself, and is not for fortune telling.

The day passed quickly whilst we were having fun. Thank you Ruby for organising the whole seminar.

Exercise 1:

Get a photo, and join the left half with the laterally inverted left half. This is your face showing your "learned you".

Likewise, join the right half of the photo with its laterally inverted right half. This is your face showing the "Real you".

Exercise 2:

Turn to the news on tv and watch the newsreader's features. Try it for news from different language channels.

Exercise 3:

People watching. Sit by a cafe along a busy mall and watch people.

Coming up?? 'Body-Reading' seminar coming, probably also in Malacca.

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Some of my Thoughts

The following post was my first assignment at Toastmasters a few years ago. Thought it would be interesting to share it here...

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We are the sum of our thoughts. So today, I’ll be sharing with you some of my thoughts. Each of these thoughts has influenced in my life. I will present them in a chronological order.

Thought 1 : “Why can’t teachers explain to me why I’m a naughty boy?”
I think children should not be fed any negativity about themselves without clear explanations and their own right of reply (or defense). Often, adults choose the easy way out by criticising the child (sometimes with physical punishments) without clear explanations. The result of this thought and experience is that I now take the patience to explain what I want to people (esply children) clearly.

Thought 2 :“ How is it that Caucasian tourists can afford to backpack to see the world, while we (the locals) are struggling to bring three meals to the table?”
As an adventurous kid, I used to wander to Mount Faber from my home in Redhill where I met these tourists. We were ‘allowed’ to do that those days. School was not so demanding and mum has seven other of my brothers and sisters to take care of. This thought has strengthened my resolve to live my dream and travel the world, modelled after a few books written by the author and futurist Alvin Toffler. At that age, I was idealistic and had a fervent belief that people regardless of race, language, religion, caste, creed or gender can achieve anything they want to, if they put their minds to it. To date, I have lived and worked in fifteen cities across four continents over twenty years, and have built my information security business in the meantime.

Thought 3 :“How can a country so dynamic once upon a time be so indolent?”
This may sound familiar, but I was actually referring to England when I started my backpacking. After Australia, my impression was that all white people are naturally lazy. This thought is later proven wrong when I returned to Singapore, my country of birth. When I left twenty years ago, everyone was ‘hungry’ to work and progress. Now after a system of government where many Members of Parliament need not face the ballot box to be in office, a series of government subsidised upgrading of living quarters, monetary dividends, and other payouts, the majority has become indolent.
So, regardless of race, language and religion, once the system is set to produce lazy and indolent people, it will!

Thought 4: “At some point, we have to let go…”
When I was twenty, I thought life goes on forever. Physically, it was almost zero resistance. Now when I go jogging, I realise I have kneecaps that hold my thighs and shanks together. Bless are my kneecaps that are still working and serving me well.
We cannot defy gravity. At some point, our physical attributes will be less effective, especially given the way we punish ourselves daily. I am now more health conscious. I practise Yoga and meditate daily. It gives me a mind to see many issues more clearly to be grateful for all of God’s creations.

So whether it is a new line of wrinkle, your grown-up offspring leaving home or a need to loosen political grip, at some point we have to let go to move forward.

You are the sum of your thoughts. So pay good attention to them. Thoughts are energy. Thoughts travel and they are powerful. :)