Bucky group 20 - Oxymoron

This week we referred to our Vacuum State post on "Hunting Down Life's Oxymoron" by Mike George (For more about the blog post, click here). This is the first time that a blog post is used for our Bucky Group discussion, marking our move into Cyberspace and leveraging on Web 2.0 content. Indeed there are a lot of rich and original content out there in blogs, websites, Wikipedia, online forums and videos like YouTube.

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Clinton kicked off the discussion by reading the Wikipedia definition of "Oxymoron":

An oxymoron (plural oxymorons or, more rarely, oxymora) is a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Oxymoron is a loanword from Greek oxy ("sharp") and moros ("dull"). Thus the word oxymoron is itself an oxymoron.
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A few of us were quick to bring examples of oxymorons like "pretty ugly", "virtual reality", and with a lot of sarcasm - "honest politician"

So what is the difference between "Oxymoron" and "Dichotomy"?

The Wikipedia defines "dichotomy" as"
Division into two; especially, the division of a class into two subclasses opposed to each other by contradiction, as the division of the term man into white and not white.
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So distinct from "dichotomy", "oxymoron" is a mere expression of two consecutive contraditory words.

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At that point, Johnson walked in (late). After a spontaneous welcome to him, we briefed him that the morning's topic is about "oxymoron", and immediately he uttered, "Sounds confusing clear", probably unaware that he is a natural with the oxymoron, and we burst into laughter.

We then moved on to "blindspot", as a blindspot, precedes an oxymoron. A blindspot here refers to the blindness in the inner eye. This refers to us not 'seeing' something, and that we know it is a blindness that is affecting our lives.

In the Tao lecture I attended recently, the master said,

No one can see all angles of the world. This is so in individuals, cultures, religions, science...etc. This is because our views does not cover all dimensions. Thus, we have to compensate for this by using the views of others. Sometimes, we can view an issue from the animals, plants, Buddhas and sages points of view. For more of the Tao lecture, click here

To see our own blindspots, we can use the 'vision' of others. In other words, receive the opinions and comments from others. In a system, that means to accept and interoperate with other systems; or become a system of systems. In that sense, Singapore is a system of systems as we are multi-racial, multi-religion and multi-cultured city. With tolerance, that enables us to see our own blindspots as a nation more easily, as opposed to fairly mono-cultured countries like Japan and Korea.

Johnson mentioned that at work, there are some issues that when clarified by others it became clear and could agree with them. However, there are some issues that even after discussions with his colleagues, he could not agree with them. What more, the said issues, which involves a procedure that we interact with the customers, are not even acceptable by the customers themselves. At this point, several suggestions were put forth by us, which includes, looking at the issue from the company's perpectives as the company looks at all customers and not just (some of) the customers that Johnson deals with. Besides, companies have other aspects like company culture and image that they may want to upkeep. There are mistakes that the company may consider fatal and cannot afford to make.

Clinton brought out an example in the automotive maker Honda, which produces very high quality cars, whose Chairman said to the effect that, "...we may achieve 99.99% perfection and 0.01% error... To us it is an achievement, but to the customer, the 0.01% seems to be 100%."

So we have to look at some work issues also from the company's perspective. Mistakes that are not fatal to the worker, or to some customers, may be fatal to one. And that is all that it needs to bring the company down.

I brought the example of my discussions with some people regarding "sexism" and "homosexuality". All too often, the other party is so quick to call me a male chauvinist or a homophobe, without hearing me out. Nowadays, it seems politically correct to speak in support of gay movements, and intolerant to any other comment even those who are not against their movements. Worse still, why not hear the speaker out first before jumping into conclusions? This is the listener's blindspots.

Chin brought out that some people feel that gays are not normal or balanced, but in their own way, they are balanced with both the male and female aspects of a human body.

This reminds some of us of Dr Aaron's empathy for these people as they are souls who have chosen to be reincarnate into the opposite sex, but have not managed to complete it in their human body. These are souls who have gone through a difficult time as a woman in the past embodiment and wanted so much to be a man in their next incarnation, but didn't quite make it and are now a man in a woman's body. They deserve our understanding.

So in a sense, we all choose the sex we want to be born and the parents we want to be born through.

Joo Hwa interjected by saying he knows of a couple who gave birth to a pair of twins. Not knowing what to name the babies, they consulted the brother, who himself is not so well educated. So the uncle named the babies: one as "Denise", the other as "DeNephew". :)

Not very relevant to our discussion, but never mind. He is our court jester.

Okay, back to the post... we went on to talk about "Emotional Intelligence", that it is also an oxymoron. For that, one of us disagreed that emotional intelligence is an oxymoron, as if we do not feel about anything then it is unlikely that we will set it to action. There, she referred to Rudolf Steiner's theory about our having 12 senses. For more of Rudolf Steiner's works, click here . Vasu responded by saying that we have to differentiate between "feelings" and "emotions". There and then, he calmly expressed, "I can feel my anger", and then unexpectedly bursted into a loud thump, " I CAN FEEL MY ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [I should have got that captured on video!] Certainly, the emotions spoke for itself. We understood the difference instantly. It is one thing feeling something, but when we get blew our top (emotional) about something, we lose everything. Well, the fact that Vasu is an actor helps! :)

We were only halfway through our post, we would need to continue our discussion next week, as it was already 10.10am and Joo Hock has to start his hair salon.

The rest of us proceeded to the cafe at the concourse of Adelphi. It is a habit that we continue our discussions there.

At the cafe, Vasu told me that he is intending to go into experiential training and showed me a book that captures the topic. I turned to a page at random, and it says that when we break down a topic scientifically into small bits, we create dichotomies, such that the small bits in itself cannot help the learner to learn. To learn effectively, we have to be able to experience the whole.

Then I thought about the experiential 7 Day Transformation Journey that I attended in 2002 and how it had indeed changed my life. The Bucky University that we have ought to be one that is comprehensive, as Bucky was, and such that students can experience the whole while learning.

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Hunting Down Life's Oxymorons

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Clear Thinking 1 March 2008 www.relax7.com

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HUNTING DOWN LIFE'S OXYMORONS! by Mike George

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Have you ever noticed a blind spot in your eyesight? Often called a 'scotoma' it seems everyone has one in one of their eyes. However we don't notice it as the other eye compensates and fills in the missing bit! But have you spotted the blind spot in your inner eye, in what you might call your inner vision or awareness. Most people are unaware of their physical 'scotoma' but some people set out to make themselves become aware of the blind spots in the inner eye. They realise they are often not 'seeing' something, and they know it is a blindness that is affecting their life.

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A blind spot in your inner awareness usually takes one of three forms

1. When you say one thing and do another and you are not aware of your own contradiction
2. When you 'accuse' others of a behaviour that you are doing yourself
3. When you hold on to a belief (usually subconsciously) which you know deep down is not true

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Such contradictions can come in many forms. When you criticize someone for always being negative about things, you don't recognize that you are being negative about the citiciser. When you accuse others of being abusive you are being abusive towards the abuser. When you hate the haters you become hater. When you tell someone you love them and then a few moments or a few days later become angry and blame them for what you feel.

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For some, such moments of contradiction can be frequent within an average day but they will not realise it, not 'see' it. For others there is a feeling of discomfort that follows such contradictory actions or statements but they can't quite put their finger on why the discomfort arises. More often it is friends, family or colleagues who will point out our behavioural scotomas and we then see and realise what we have been blind to.

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Communal and collective contradictions can also be found in every day conversations. Sometimes they are called 'oxymorons'. There are many oxymorons that inhabit the landscapes of our consciousness, our language and therefore our cultures. See if you can spot how many are in the following passage.

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She returned from a working holiday to find her son had being doing nothing most of the time except playing computer games based on virtual reality. Her husband was conspicuously absent so she called the agent to ask them to for an accurate estimate on the value of her house. And while the agent was awfully nice and said that some aspects of the house looked better than new the local film production company had called and wanted it as a location for a black comedy about the living dead.

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Other more commonly held contradictions become blind spots that can keep us collectively stuck in a kind of illusion, which in itself impedes our progress. One of the most common examples is the idea of 'stress management'. In the last twenty years a booming industry has arisen around this oxymoron and many have jumped on a bandwagon that is heading in the wrong direction. Stress levels are frequently reported to be rising almost daily. Usually accompanied by doom-laden forecasts of collapsing health services and much corporate pain in the bottom line, the explosion of panaceas under the heading of 'stress management' is now as varied as it is eccentric. But few have spotted that stress management is an oxymoron. It is a contradiction in terms. When you are stressed you cannot manage anything, most of all the stress itself, because the stress is managing you.

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The irony that lives in the very idea of stress management is that stress arises mainly because we are trying to control (manage) what we can never control, usually events and other people. So the only way out and into a stress free life is to stop trying to control (manage) what you cannot control which is everything except your own thoughts about what you are trying to control! And you won't be able to control your thoughts if you are stressed because your stress is essentially uncontrollable, negative thinking. Anger Management is the same, another oxymoron which sustains the illusion that anger can be managed.

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One of the hot topics of the last decade has been something called 'emotional intelligence'. But few have realised it's also an oxymoron. When you are emotional you cannot be intelligent. A simple definition of intelligence is 'to use what you know in the right way in the right place at the right moment'. Yet we all know from experience that when we become emotional the last thing we are able to do is calmly draw on our inner wisdom, create rational thoughts and clearly discern what is the appropriate response. When emotion floods through our consciousness it destroys our ability to act intelligently hence the sage advice to never make a life changing decision when you are emotional.

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History is littered with the most obvious oxymoron in the idea of a 'holy war'. To justify war by calling it a holy act looks like total blindness to the enlightened soul. Holy means sacred or approaching the divine, and war means the exact opposite. It is a violent and murderous exercise. We miss this blind spot when we justify the use of war to create a pathway to the creation of peace. We have to 'fight for peace' is more than a slight contradiction. We are really saying we have to use violence to achieve non violence. Few people have had the courage to 'flag up' such an obvious oxymoron, fewer had the courage to listen and even fewer the courage to live the other way. Gandhi was one of the very few.

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On a more personal level, and sometimes a precursor to war, is another more common oxymoron in the form of 'constructive criticism' "I was only being constructive", says the critciser, just after they have attacked the efforts or the integrity of the other. To criticise is to attack and to attack can never be constructive. While the art, literature and drama critic has the job to 'critique', it is more like a review unless and until emotion enters the review, then it becomes a personal reaction as opposed to a reflective response.

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Perhaps one of the most public oxymorons is embeded in the title of one of the most prestigious global organisations. The United Nations is an oxymoron. The very fact we have separate national identities means real unity will always be impossible, which is quite plain to see in the reality of today's inter-nation relations! Unity is only present when separation is absent. The title of the organization sustains the opposite of its mission. It's like saying 'we are all one'. Inherent in the 'we' is more than one, obviously!

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One oxymoron that influences us all is the idea of 'academic learning'. Our academic education is called learning but its mostly memorising, which is not learning, it's memorising. It's also the memorisation of other peoples memorisations, people who are positioned as authority figures of the past. Their ideas are held in the highest esteem and passed on as 'authority'. But real learning can only happen when the 'self' recognizes itself as its own authority in the universe of its own consciousness. Only then is real learning possible, which is learning what the self is and how the self works and how the self relates to other selves and how the self creates their world and why the self is here. This cannot be learned by a process of memorization, only from personal experience or what is sometimes called self realization. And if there is one subject in life that can never be academic it is that of the 'self'.

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It is always an interesting exercise to watch out for the oxymorons that have become inherent within our cultures. They can easily influence our intentions and relationships. Hunting down our contradictions is very much a part of awakening and expanding our self awareness. When we expose them within our consciousness we are shedding light on an illusion and laying bare the truth. Such moments of enlightenment are grist to the mill of the spiritual traveler and vital steps to liberation in life.

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Questions:

Have you ever realised you were contradicting your self or doing something that contradicted something you said?

What was that action and do you still do it?

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Reflection:

Why do we still find it hard to see the contradictions that creep into our own life?

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Action:

Create a conversation with friends or colleagues this week with the purpose of identifying anything contradictory within your actions and interactions as a group
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What's at the End of the Line - Mike George

Clear thinking 28 October 2007 http://www.relax7.com/
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What's at THE END of the Line! by Mike George
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Have you ever noticed that when you are in a joyful and happy state, when you are having the 'time of your life', the one thing you are not conscious of is time passing. Which means that if you were in a continuously joyful and happy state you would spend your lifetime unaware of time…so to speak. But the reality is we are not joyous and happy all the time so we become acutely aware of time dragging. Some people are so miserable so much of the time that their lifetime feels more like a 'life sentence'!
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What seems to gradually make us more and more 'time conscious' is watching the gradual decay of our physical appearance each day in the bathroom mirror. This reflection plants and fertilizes the idea of aging and, even before the 'grey stuff' makes its first appearance, we are imagining the end. Our eventual demise is not just 'on the cards' as a possibility it seems to be 'in the cards' as a dead certainty…so to speak! Looking forward to times to come increasingly becomes reviewing times past.
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West and East have different ideas about aging. In the West, after retiring from work, we tend to potter about gently until its time to 'shuffle off our mortal coil'! In the East, old age is the time of wisdom and spiritual energy. With the family flown the nest, work responsibilities over, it is a period when we are most equipped to give to others the benefit of our experience. If we can absorb this lesson of the East it may help us to replace the all-too-common sense of gradual decline with a more accurate realization of the potential that remains to us still. Long after our physical powers have started to weaken we could be bringing to fruition the gathering of a lifetimes wisdom as a gift to all we meet. Our body may lose its lustre as we age, but experience can burnish our spirit to a gleam that is ever more radiant. Suddenly it's not a question of leaving a legacy after we go but of sharing it in a multitude of ways before we go.

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Yes, we do all have to face the reality of death but by the accounts of so many saints and sages down through the ages, the more we become spiritually aware the less significant this moment will seem. Have you noticed how elderly people seldom speak of death as fearful. Perhaps they have found an inner space called 'serene and mellow' or perhaps they are just tired and ready for what they believe will be a nice long rest. Perhaps after so many decades on the planet some spiritual awareness is absorbed into even the most materialistic of life's pilgrims.

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To many the idea of death itself not a major issue, it is the manner of its accomplishment! If there is fear then it is often a fear of the amount of pain that may have to be endured as we slip through 'exit door' at the end of the 'corridor of life'. But while the exact moment of our departure is never known in advance it seems we can choose our own moment of dying, exit the physical body painlessly at the end and go in peace. This possibility is encapsulated by the saying, "If you die before you die then when you die you don't die". Otherwise known as 'dying alive'. It simply means there can be a conscious choice to acknowledge and let go of everything to which we are attached. Death, in this strand of spiritual wisdom, is painful only when we cling to attachments while at the same time being wrenched away from them. Toys and children remind us of this grasping at the objects of life and the tears that easily flow when life asks for the toys to be returned.
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If we can learn to let go before we are forced to let go we may be able to re-vision the 'end of the line' as a gliding return to home – a gradual, inevitable, flawless movement, an easy and natural farewell, the spirit's ascent to its resting place, regardless of whatever is happening both within our body or around our body at that time.
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Unfortunately death is frequently depicted not as a homecoming but as a shadow, a bruise on our daylight. But imagine trying to run away from your shadow: you will never succeed in shaking off this persistent companion, however fast you run, and you will exhaust yourself in the process. However, as an alternative scenario, imagine yourself walking contentedly into the shade cast by a large tree. Your shadow will disappear, and your eyes will adjust to the reduced levels of light. You will be able to see no less clearly. Ultimately the fear of death, like fear of spiders or mice, comes not from the nature of things, but from that illusion that lodges persistently in the mind, the illusion of time itself and therefore the illusion of an ending.

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In modern life (and especially in working life), we are programmed to believe that time is precious in itself - one of the reasons why death can so easily come to be seen as a threat. We think of ourselves, misguidedly, as citadels under siege, knowing that we cannot hold out; that we must give up our treasures to the enemy. Hence the saying 'they fought to the death' applies not only to a heroes tale but to those who fight and struggle against the inevitable to the very bitter end. But it need not be made so difficult. How interesting and even comforting it is to hear from so many counselors and companions who are 'with' those during the dying process. They tell us of how there was a moment, just before the end, when they 'let go', when they seemed to make peace with themselves and with what was happening. They report on how a quiet and powerful serenity took the place of a painful struggle against the inevitable, against letting go.
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Misconceptions about time also explain why so many people are unprepared for retirement - the sudden change from 'time famine' to 'time abundance' is experienced as psychic shock. But in fact if we think of time as simply the medium in which we regain spiritual awareness, the road along which we travel for a while, then at journey's end we will not feel the loss of any commodity. And like any journey, including the one to work every day, we start out from home and eventually return home. Life's journey can be seen in a similar light and our return home is as inevitable as the setting sun. We are returning to the source, laden with spiritual riches in joyful abundance.
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It seems that the 'great teachers' who taught that 'death is an illusion' also taught that the realization of our spiritual identity brings with it an awareness of our eternity. You may have noticed that even in life there are no conclusions. Nothing 'real' ends. Objects, including our own bodies, do decay but the energy of our material costume just changes its form and reappears as some thing else!All events are only seen as isolated events because of our perception and that's because we have a need to deal with 'one thing at a time', otherwise it would appear that everything is one great big ALL that is happening at the same time so to speak! Conversations continue in minds long after mouths have stopped talking.
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The 'big match' may come to an end when the final whistle goes but the lives of the players doesn't. Deep down we sense there is only a continuous flow, a river of unending, infinite possibilities. If we can see our life as living in such a flowing light then the idea of a conclusion is seen for what it is, an illusion. Death then becomes a pause, just a coma, not in a life sentence but in one long, continuous, beautifully expressed, sentence that living is.
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It becomes just a brief transition, an interlude between chapters. This feeling of continuity then frees us from fear and our dignity and poise are restored. And besides if someone offered us the opportunity to live for five hundred years in our current body who would accept it? In that light death could be seen as a blessing. Combined with the reality of our eternity it becomes simply a moment to refresh ourselves and set of on a new adventure.
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From the spiritual point of view, when we choose to 'die alive', which simply means a life of non attachment, we can cheat the death that comes with physical decay. We have already let go before it is time to 'let go'. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust is just the stuff of our bodies returning to earth but we are not ash and dust.
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When we realise that spirit is what we are we are liberated in life and therefore liberated from death. This freedom is the only window through which the breeze of real happiness and joy can enter. Only then, when the time comes will we know the moment to move on to the next chapter, to that new adventure. Only then will we be able to move on as effortlessly as moving from our living room to our bedroom at the end of the day. In that moment we may know death as it really is, not the end of the line just a 'pause' on the line with no end. In the words (approx) of Williams Blakes 'ship on the horizon' metaphor for the dying process, those watching the ship sailing away over the horizon shout, "There she goes". While at the very same moment others or a far shore are shouting, "Here she comes".
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Question: What is your ides/concept of death?
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Reflection: Imagine you are offered the chance to live for 500 years, would you accept it? If not why not? If so why so?
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Action: Consciously identify those things/relationships to which you are most attached, which seem to 'give' you the will to live and visualise them dissolving into the background..
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Mike George is an author of several books. If you would like to subscribe (free) to his weekly Clear Thinking article send an email to mike@relax7.com or visit www.relax7.com

PARADOXES ON THE PATH

A friend of mine, emailed me this inspiring article, which I would like to share with you all:
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PARADOXES ON THE PATH - 4/3/07 by Mike George

Clear Thinking http://www.relax7.com/
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If you are receiving and reading Clear Thinking each week it means you are interested in self-understanding, self-change and self -empowerment. These are the foundations of self-mastery. They are essential aspects of the journey back to being spiritually whole and complete. They are necessary steps on the path to being your authentic self. You will likely have noticed that on your journey 'home' to your authentic self, the path is riddled with paradox. Paradoxes are statements which appear contradictory but hide a deeper truth e.g. the paradox that standing is more tiring than walking.
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The seeing and the realisation of paradox can set us free from the constraints of what appears to be illogical thinking. It seems illogical to think that standing is more tiring than walking, but it's true. Behind what seems illogical lies a truth that if unrealised and not integrated into your life will result in the creation of tension, confusion or an imbalance, while never really knowing the reason why. For example we may be aware that our relationships are defined by a dynamic of giving and receiving at a variety of levels (things, ideas, attention, time etc) but the inherent paradox in this dynamic is that giving is receiving and receiving is giving. In order to receive you have to give, and in order to give you have to receive. At first sight this can appear illogical but behind the illogic there lies a deeper truth. At the dualistic, material level if you don't give it means you will be 'busy wanting'. It means your thoughts and your attention are trapped in what you want.
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At the spiritual level of giving and receiving the paradox takes a slightly different form. It is only when we give with love that we feel the love that already lives within us. In essence, only by giving love can you know and receive the love that you are. By giving to others you are receiving from yourself. And conversely, to be fully open to receiving the love of others 'gives' them the opportunity to receive and feel and know themselves as love. No surprise then that someone once said, "Through the gates of paradox you shall find the truth". Paradox lies in wait at every turn.
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Staying in the territory of relationship another paradox shows up at the level of understanding. In order to know and understand others it is first necessary to know and understand your self. Often we demonstrate our perplexity when we claim, "I just don't understand them. I thought I knew them, but now I realise I don't". What we don't realise is that the underlying cause of our inability to connect and resonate with others is our ignorance of our self. You cannot read and understand the emotions that others are feeling until you learn to fully feel and identify the emotions that you feel within yourself. The psychopath has no ability to empathise with others because they have spent their entire life avoiding their own feelings. People are like books but we cannot read them until we learn to read ourselves at all levels from intention to belief, from emotion to attitude. Which is why the best way to get to know and truly understand others is to spend a lot of time with yourself.
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We cannot see or feel unity and oneness in the world around us because we still 'believe' in division and separation. And that is because within our self there is fragmentation and division. When you resolve your inner fragmentation (the voices of many identities) you will see and know the underlying oneness of 'us all'!
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A similar paradox exists within the intention to raise your consciousness, which is not possible unless you remain grounded! Many make the mistake of isolating themselves from the world and putting all their time and attention into mystical and meditative practices with the hope of simply 'rising above it all'. They then wonder why progress is fleeting and slow. Then one day they realise that the real lessons that need to be learned and integrated in order to 'rise above' lie in everyday places, everyday interactions with people, and the everyday practicalities of living. When people, places and practicalities are not dealt with accurately, and with love, they become a burden carried by our consciousness, a form of 'unfinished business' which weighs us down making it impossible to raise our self above the mundane. You cannot check out of the supermarket without learning the price of each item and paying the bill. Only then are the groceries fully owned by you, and only then can you see.
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Question: Which of the above paradoxes did you find most relevant to your life now?
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Reflection: To resolve a paradox you need to go beyond thinking about it to 'see' it. Hence the purpose of meditation is to quieten the thinking mind and watch what arises from the heart.
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Action: In what ways could the seeing of each of the above paradoxes change the way you 'live your life?'
a) giving and receiving
b) understanding others
c) unity and oneness
d) rising above?

Time of Your Life - Days of Future Past

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE - Days of Future Past!
by Mike George http://www.relax7.com/

20th January, 2007

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Where do you live most of your life? Where do go most frequently? The answer to both questions is the same. The past and the future. Sit down at the end of the day and review your day, and you will find around 80% (probably more) of your attention in the form of your conversations with others and with yourself went into the past or future. When you inhabit the past or future, in conversation or thought, it means you are not fully present in the moment. And when you miss the moment you miss your life because life can only be fully lived in this moment, in the now.

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The past and the future are stressful places to live. Repeatedly thinking about the past means there is either something incomplete or some regret or hurt that is being replayed mentally. Replaying it is like trying to change it. "I wish it hadn't happened… it should never have been like this… I shouldn't have said that". These are thoughts that indicate you are attempting the impossible – which is to change what can never be changed. You are trying to make the unreal real…again! This is a task that not only drains your energy, but is doomed to failure. And each failure chips away at your self-esteem. But most are not aware of this mental folly.

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Occasionally, you may switch your attention to the future. Then, if you are not careful, if you are not 'aware', you draw on the past and project it into the future. And then you are surprised that the future turns out just like the past! "I just can't see it working... it has always happened that way...we always argue". Are just a few past experiences that provide raw materials for the creation of the future. Past and future are stress filled dimensions. Sadness and anger always lie in the past, while fear and hopelessness lie in the future. Whenever you think of past and future you are unaware that you simply keep recreating these emotions over and over again in the 'now'. More than likely you are blaming the event or the person for what you felt then, and again for feeling what you feel now! This is why so many live lives of quiet desperation. And when the unhappiness of this self inflicted suffering reaches a certain level you may notice yourself escape into some physical stimulation - a movie, a relationship, a substance or perhaps just some food in order to relieve or distract from the suffering.

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The solution is learning to fully 'let go' of yesterday, and to 'let be' what will be tomorrow, and live in the present moment. This takes practice. When you are fully in the present moment you are free of all stressful emotions. Only in the present moment can you be truly at peace with yourself and with the world. In the present moment you are still, even while you are doing whatever you are doing. In the present moment, when you are free of past and future, you have no regrets, no worries and no desires. Whenever your think regret, worry or desire it blocks and distorts your heart. You stop flowing into your life. As you learn to live fully in the present moment these blockages to your heart, your spiritual heart, are quietly dissolved. Only then can your love arise and emerge into the world. Only then can you heal the habits of

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.a) the judgements (past) that kill your serenity

.b) the prejudices (past) that kill your compassion and

.c) the fear (future) that kills your integrity.
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When you live in the moment it is not an avoidance of the future or a denial of the past. It is not an avoidance of responsibility. In fact it is our first responsibility to be fully present in the moment when we are with others. Only then can we fully hear them, be fully with them and completely care about them. In present moment awareness the true meaning of care is restored and the false meaning, which most if us now carry i.e. worry, is discarded. Worry is not care. Worry is an escape to an fictional future and an avoidance of now. It is a selfish concern for how we may feel if the worst should happen. It also satisfies an addiction to fearfulness! You have a life time to spend the time of your life, and while you cannot lose any of that time, every time you drift or escape into past or future in your mind it is as if the time spent there is lost time. It's also tiring, feels draining and deep down in your heart of hearts it's as if you know you are wasting your time. But it's just a habit. And all habits can be changed.

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That's not to say you shouldn't value what happened in the past. You have a memory full of experiences. It's like a filing cabinet. Go there occasionally when you need to draw on the stored information. But don't live there. If you do, then it's like going to the office and spending the day in the filing cabinet! Clean out your filing cabinet regularly! Moreover it is not to say you should not make plans for the future. Aims and goals are good, some planning essential. But only enough to give coherent focus to your mental energy, and only when your aims and goals are connected to a clear sense of purpose and values. When your goals are not derived from your purpose and values they tend to turn into selfish desires. And that's when fear and absence enter again – fear of not getting what you want and absence from the moment now.

As you can see the dimension of this physical world has three dimensions built in (length, breadth and height). So too the fourth dimension, which is time, has three dimensions built in – the past, present and future. While we are all dwellers of the fourth dimension we need to be careful we don't fall asleep at the wheel and drift into the past or into dreams of imagined futures. The past is a trap, and while the future needs a map, we need to be fully in the present now to both create and take the right next step. One step at a time. Only then is nothing lost. Only then is nothing missed.

SELF ANALYSIS:

Question: What do you think about most that is in the past and why do you think that is?

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Reflection: Where attention goes energy flows and where energy flows things grow and where things grow the future will show.

Action: Practice for five minutes, three times a day, sitting quietly in the present moment. Pick something outside or inside ( e.g. your breathing) to focus your attention upon. Concentrate gently not forcefully, and watch how your awareness fills the present moment. Practice makes perfect. The practice also empowers.

Time of Your Life

A friend of mine, emailed me this inspiring article, which I would like to share with you all:


THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

by Mike George - www.relax7.com

In some parts of the world there is famine. But it's not a shortage of food. It's a shortage of time. You can tell people are starving when they keep saying, "I don't have enough time or I have too much to do or I'm just too busy".

Time pressure comes when we try to do more in less time than it would take if we did not create the need to hurry! Time pressure comes when we perceive there is too much to do in a given time. But it's just a perception. The feeling of time pressure is always entirely the result of our own perception.

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'Time famine' usually occurs in the so called 'developed' countries where speed is now God. And that's why by far the most popular workshop/course/seminar in those countries is... yes, you guessed, Time Management! But few realise that time management is an oxymoron. Time cannot be managed. Time shows up only to pass by. Time passes and never stops passing. The one thing in this world that never stops, and can never be stopped, is the flow of time.

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Once upon a time, sometime in the past, there was a young and brilliant carpenter. One day he built the most exquisite box. On the box he painted the most beautiful face and two perfect arms. That night, at around midnight, he went into the forests, high the mountains, and he whispered to TIME saying, "If you enter this box I promise you will control almost all human beings on this earth". After a moments hesitation TIME replied, "Are you sure?" To which the carpenter replied, "Absolutely certain. They will think they are controlling you, but it will be you that controls them. It's perfect". And so TIME accepted his offer and entered the box. The young carpenter returned down the mountain to his home and placed the box in the middle of high shelf so that all could see its face. And he called that box a clock.

It would not be long before the clock was mistaken for TIME itself and everyone would look at the clock for guidance. Every time we think about time we tend to look at a clock somewhere. We organise our life around periods and moments in clock time. We don't realise we look only at a machine, that we are surrendering to a false concept of time. The clock is not time, it is simply our way of attempting to measure our experience of the space between two events.

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So off we go on our Event Management workshop disguised as a Time Management workshop, and because 'management' implies control the first question is how do we control events? It\'s not long before the realisation dawns that you don't! In fact you cannot control anything more than three and half feet away from you! And besides, most events are other people! And that is the one thing you can never control ever. Unfortunately many, if not most, people beg to differ and live most of their lives believing, albeit subconsciously, that they can control what they cannot control i.e. other people. Little do they realise that is where most of their stress comes from.

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When you do realise that your stress is coming from your attempts to control what you cannot control, you realise that Event Management is really Stress Management. Actually stress management is another of those oxymorons. Whenever you are stressed you are not managing anything, the stress is managing you. If, by good fortune, you encounter a good stress management teacher in a world now saturated with stress management teachers, you will learn a) there is no such thing as positive stress and b) all your stress is entirely self-created, always! Which means Stress Management is really Self Management. It\'s not the other person or the event that causes your stress, it's your response that contains the stress. This can be a life changing insight for most people, as it appears that around 99% of us have been taught the opposite i.e. that we are victims of other people and the circumstances we find ourselves in.

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Slowly, if not suddenly, it dawns that prevention and freedom from stress requires deep changes to the way you respond to life as it happens around you. That means Self Management is really Change Management. Not changing anyone else, or anything else, except your self. And that means challenging your beliefs so that you can choose different perceptions in order to change your thinking, as all stress at a mental level is just negative thinking. Which means the workshop is not something that you attend 'out there' but something that you create and attend almost entirely within your own consciousness.

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And yet, even when you realise the need to change your responses, and the inner work you need to do, there will be one final, and sometimes fatal, barrier to you attending your own inner workshop. And it's that voice, sometimes faint, sometimes loud, that says, "But I just don't have the time!" This is the voice of 'urgent avoidance'. Behind the voice is the fear of facing what is most important.

And so we come full circle. Time Management IS Event Management IS Stress Management IS Self Management IS Change Management. And it will always take some time! Unless of course you learn to live outside of time, and then you don't need to change anything at all.
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SELF ANALYSIS

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Question:

Why do you think so many people find it so difficult to understand and manage their time?

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Reflection: Time is life and life is time and you have a lifetime. But are you having the time of your life or is someone else having the time of YOUR life?

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Action: Write down the ten most important things in your life. Prioritise them. Then decide what you will do to affirm their importance.

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