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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Universal Law - Part 6 (Final Part)


This posting is based on what I have learned from the "105 Universal Laws" seminar on the 27th May 2007 in Singapore by Dr Aaron Lim. This seminar comprises a series of lectures conducted one Sunday a month. This is the ninth lecture of the series. The last of the series.
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Warning: This posting contains opinions that may be considered unacceptable by some people. If you are easily offended by unconventional views about religion and spiritualism, then DO NOT READ FURTHER THAN HERE. If you do, then do it at your own risk! If you do not agree with the views expressed below, it does not mean that you have not 'arrived', rather it just mean that you 'do not agree'. Meanwhile, try to be open. There are lots to discover about ourselves when we are open. Do feel free to leave comments.
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BELIEVING IS NOT NECESSARY!
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The 105 Universal Laws have taken longer time than I have expected to finish them. At first I thought it will take only about 6 months to complete them. But today, we are going to finish discussing them all. The reason for the delay is because some of the laws are more dominant than others. For instance, the Law of Karma.
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Law of Karma works like your mobile phone SMS. Once the 'send' button is pressed, we can't bring the message back even if you have mistakenly sent it to the wrong person.

[I quipped: And it will be a message addressed to 'Sayang' ('Darling' in Malay.)] [Laughter!]
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Yes, and the wrong person will get the 'Sayang' and the person the 'Sayang' is supposed to go to keep waiting in vain. You see how complicated a simple action can lead to?
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I get many wrongly directed smses to me, because my name "Aaron" with a double "A" is usually the first in most mobile phone directories. I usually let them know that their messages are wrongly directed to me so that they can re-send them to the intended recipients.
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Sometimes, I get stray phone calls too, because the caller forgot to lock his phone and had accidentally sat on the send button and I got a phone call. I could hear their conversations inadvertently. But of course, I hang up on knowing that they are just stray calls.
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Karma is the same. Once sent out, they cannot be rectified. Changing mobile phone sets will not help. Just like changing religions will not help.
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Our thoughts, like our mobile phone, are sent out frequently. Thoughts travel, so be careful with what you think. It will be sent to people around you and people you think about. So be positive. You are the first recipient of your thoughts and they come one big circle eventually back to you. Some take longer, some sooner. Some are individual karma, some are shared karma.
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For instance, all of us here in this hall has shared karma for the moment. Should an aircraft crash here now, most likely we will all die together.
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We are going to start the ACIM (A Course in Miracles) seminar in August. Those of you who have attended will know that it is something that will change your life. It will be beneficial for those of you who likes to improve yourself to invest a year in this seminar series.
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You will realise after ACIM that because you have changed, you will attract a different type of people. For instance, you will not attract angry people if you are peaceful.
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But, some of you may ask, then why are some people you don't want to meet still lingering in your life? That is because you still have something in you that have attracted him/her to be around. You have not completely released him/her. If your mind is still fighting with him/her, you will attract the fighting.
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Thoughts are so powerful. The receiving person feels it. It takes two to fight.
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For instance, if you go to the temple and jump and scream at the saints, Buddha or KuanYin statues to you go hoarse, at some point you will not shout anymore. You know it is futile. The statues would still look serene and calm. You will be depleted.
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[BTW, that is the primary reason of the statues - to remind us of being peaceful - not idol worship.]
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As you evolve and vibrate at a higher frequency, those that are not like you will gradually drop out.
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For example, say if I love to drink and I go to the pub to drink with friends everyday after work before going home. In the pub, we have lame conversations like, "...I almost got the job... I almost spoke to that girl...etc". Lots of "I almost...".
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So, after attending ACIM, I think in a different frequency and now don't like going to the pub to meet this people. Friends will call, but I will reject them each time. After many rejections, the calls will become less and less frequent and then eventually no more.
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You see, you don't have to ask someone to go away. They will after some time, when the two of you don't think the same way or you don't want him to be around. If he is still around, that means for some reasons, you still want him to be around.
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Some people say, people marry opposites. For instance, one calm, the other angry. On the surface, that appears to be true, but go deeper and your can see one suppressed anger and the other expressed anger.
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[Poster we have presented Dr Aaron]
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Now this is a poster of Shintaro. To those who have just joined this seminar, there is a reason for this picture. Shintaro is a movie character of a samurai in one of the Japanese TV series I watched years ago. Shintaro strikes me as decisive character. When confronted by all the ninjas around him wanting to attack him, he will finish them off quickly with a few strokes of his sword. Shintaro is focused, calm and decisive. Make the decision to kill and move forward.
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In contrast, the French Three Musketeers, will cross swords back and forth, jump up the tables, grab the chandeliers to swing across the room, slide down stairs, break everything, even talk to the opponents... and in the end, no killing and the whole place in a mess!
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I am mentioning these two metaphorically of course. It shows one making a decision and moving on, the other going back and forth and still leave everything in a mess!
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Decision making is always based on what we know. It has uncertainties. We take a chance. Often, people have doubts about their decision. This will not get them to where they want. Doubt comes in because there is no trust in something bigger than ourselves. People who does not trust, think that they are totally in-charged. That they produce the entire results by themselves.
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The 'thing' bigger than ourselves could be called, God, Buddha, Nature, Tao...etc. It is not in the name, it is in the 'knowingness'.
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For instance, we want someone to love us, but when we find someone who love us, we fear the loss of our freedom. Thoughts go out as 'doubt', so success will be prevented.
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If head and heart are not in harmony, don't do anything. Only take action when head and heart are in harmony.
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81. Law of Rhythm
To observe the law of rhythm, go to the beach to observe the tides coming in, especially during the change of tides. The waves will come in a little, then go out, then in, then out - in absolute balance.
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Same as in life, we go forward to achieve a task, then we withdraw to rest, then go forward to achieve, then rest.
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If one is not in Rhythm, one will burn itself out, since everyday is a push. So, dance with the Rhythm. There is moment to wake up, there is moment to rest.
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By the way, nothing is outside of the Universal Laws. Some say that God doesn't need to obey the laws. So what is God?
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No two persons even from the same religion have the same image of God. Images changes with time, with location (Buddha statues look Chinese, instead of Punjabi) and with change of religions. In other words, we see God as a reflection of ourselves.
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For instance, if you like black colour, then everything you have will be black. Our 'external' world is a reflection of our 'internal' world.
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[My notes: 'External' and 'internal' and expressed in quotes, because in reality there is nothing internal or external. They are all one. 'External' and 'internal' here are expressed in the context of a delusional world.]
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So if you are a great observer of life, you don't have to talk a lot to understand a lot. Those of you who have eaten around the same table with me, would have seen me picking out the tiny spring onion pieces from my plate. Without speaking, you know I don't like spring onions.
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And how about, "Oh my gosh, did you see that beautiful red car?"
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[Kok Yong: Dr Aaron, I am a bit confused with your description of reality? For instance, if a man had an extra-marital affair, he did have an extra-marital affair. Can he say it didn't happen?
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Answer: Yes, it did happen, but it is not permanent. It was real when it happened, but it is not permanent. Also for the same incident, two persons will react differently to it. A lower consciousness may go and kill the unfaithful man, whilst an ascended being will take it as it is, as she will not see things from Right or Wrong, but just Choice and Consequences; and also that nobody belongs to her!]
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When two persons are in perfect rhythm, they are harmonious.
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[My question: So why is it that some people are in rhythm and some are not?
Answer: If you go down to a busy street, say Orchard Road, and watch people passing by you and watch your emotions. There will be some you feel you can connect with and some you feel repelled from. There some people whom you just have a reflex to avoid and you don't know any better. Sometimes to the extent of walking faster, or crossing to the other side of the road to avoid. Why?
Nothing comes from nothing. Something comes from something. It could be something in that person's face that reminded you of an incident with someone who looked similar. It could be something that happened in a previous embodiment.
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However, it is not necessary to find out what troubles us in our last embodiments. They are not real, it is not good to find out sometimes. For instance, what if you found out that you have murdered one of your family members in your last emboditment?]
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82. The Law of Right Human Relations

This law helps us define limits of behavioral control with others in third dimension. Third Dimension is the world of illusion. That is, a world where we think the unreal is real. Let no one assume to forcibly teach, counsel or guide.

That means, no uncalled for advice. Uncalled for advice makes the receiving party feels wrong and lousy; and that is against our nature of feeling grand.

[Question: When I give Ang Pows in temples to the caretakers, I normally ask them if I can give them one. Usually, they will receive it, but recently, there is one who refused to receive it. So should I ask them first or should I just give the Ang Pows?

Answer: You ask them. If they turn it down, then don't give. These people need to learn how to receive. Giving and receiving goes together. It is the Law of Rhythm. When a person stop the receiving, he stops the flow of Joy, since he can always give the money away after receiving them. ]

83. The Law of Right to One's Own Space

This is an aspect of free will, but another law of its own. Everyone is entitled to make career decisions for self, decide the belief system one feels comfortable with, and generally create the life that will allow one to fulfill his or her own birth vision. This is the right to one's own space, the right to live one's own life (allowing for parental direction inteh developing young person). Overprotective or controlling parents, friends and even dictators have impeded this law and right since almost the inception of mankind.

84. The Law of Sacrifice (and Death)

The destruction of form in order that the evolving life may progress, is one of the fundamental methods in evolution.

Everything must end before something else can begin. We die everyday. Our bodily cells are replaced everyday. Everyday, we become more and more divine than yesterday.

The skills that we learn cannot be brought along with us when we die. Only love is carried over to the next embodiment.

In the ACIM course, you will learn of the unhealed healer and the healed healer.

There are some healers who are healing others and yet have many unresolved issues themselves. This happens among some New Age practitioners.

85. The Law of Schools (The Law of Love and Light)

This is a mysterious term used to cover the law as it affects the expansions of consciousness which an initiate undergoes, and his ability to attract to himself through knowledge -

1. his own Higher Self, so as to produce alignment and illumination

2. his Guru

3. that which he seeks to know

4. that which he can utilize in his work of service

5. other souls with whom he can work.

This law applies to the Initiate who has transcended the stage of self-consciousness.

This refers to the progression of consciousness.

The lowest consciousness refers to beings who are still trapped in body, race, culture and other exclusions. This gives us the most trouble.

The next level is to lose your identification with body, race, culture... etc. You can try to get this feeling if you can find a quiet place to lie down on at night and just stare at the stars. After a while, the feeling of the body disappears and you are merged with the Universe. It feels really good. This is how we should feel all times of the day. When you separate, fear comes in.

86. The Law of Service

The Antahkarana is the bridge that joins the head to the heart, without which you won't act. With the linking of soul and the personality, the light of soul pours into the brain consciousness, resulting in the subordination of the lower (chakras) to the higher (chakras). This work requires so much sacrifice of time and personal interest, requiring deliberate effort, conscious wisdom and the ability to work without attachment.

Service is the extension of your Love.

Serve cheerfully at work. Your work is your service. Drop the term 'Job' from your vocabulary from today.

Therefore we go to college so that we can serve more people. As you give, so shall you receive. You get more Love and Love manifests itself in many ways.

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87. The Law of Sex

There is no time and space during sexual orgasm.

That is why during orgasm, we do not ask:

"Who are you?"

"Where are you?"

"What time is it?"

May be after that we may ask! [Chuckles and laughter!]

Highly evolved people has no need for sex. They are in a perpetual orgasmic consciousness.

Animals cannot watch itself. Humans can. It is a rare privilege to be born a human being. We are blessed in the world of illusion. That means we can see the world in whichever way we want it to be. eg. You want to live a spiritual life in 5 years' time. When the 5 years is up, you can change your mind and still not live a spiritual life, if you don't want to.

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We are already Buddha, or Christ...etc

We cannot work to be a Buddha or Christ,...etc

Because we are already one.

We have just forgotten. I task is therefore just to re-member - become One again.

88. The Law of Solar Evolution

This law is the sum total of all lesser activities.

We lose balance if we think activities are teh reason for our being. We are too wrapped up in our lesser acts.

The more spiritual you are, the more excited about life you are. You would vibrate at a higher frequency. Love vibrates at the highest frequency.

If you are down, you do the opposite.

89. The Law of Solar Evolution

When the interplay of the Suns is being dealt with from the material aspect and from the consciousness aspect, this term is occultly used. It is not possible to enlarge upon it.

90. The Law of Sound

Every living thing in existence has a sound. Through this knowledge changes will be brought about and new forms developed through this medium. The release of energy in the atom is linked to the science of sound. Healing with sound is profoundly effective (vocal sounds - tuning forks - music). Sound has the power to restore people to their harmonic patterns. Chanting specific sounds and mantrams brings about great healing and raising of vibration, and produces virtually unimaginable results when done with group mantric chanting. The most powerful mantram known to present man is "Om mani padme hum'.

[My question: Is there a generic sound which will heal across cultures, race, religion...etc?]

Yes, there is, "OM".

Let's all do an "OM" together. [We did! It was very soothing!]

This is a primordial sound. Scientists have put out recorders in space and have heard "Om". This is said to be the sound when the Universe was created.

91. The Law of Spiritual Approach

This law depicts the conscious act of a personality to create with its every thought, word and deed the ability to be the reflection of its god self. Every action is a prayer to the Creator of All. When this is done with success, the personality becomes a mirror or reflection of the god self for others to learn from and emulate. This is a walking, talking example of becoming our higher self.

Basically,

Thoughts = Prayer

92. The Law of Spiritual Awakening

A basic level of self-control and stability is required to maintain the degree of effort required for the awakening of other states of awareness. Because such awakening brings with it higher forms of perception and power, self-centred misuse of the greater perception and power bears proportionally graver karmic consequence. Spiritual awakening brings with it the need for moral impeccability.

93 The Law of Summons

Soul talk. One can learn how to lift the soul from teh physical body and summon another soul, to have a soul to soul talk. This is most powerful because there is no conscious ego present. The message of love andn or explanation, or plea is received in a most profound manner.

1. Call the person's name

2. Say, "I love you"

(3. "I forgive you")

4. "I bless you"

Too much religious repression results in many social problems. Offenders in these religions are then called up to go through 'more religion' which is worse. It would be best to merely summon the souls.

94. The Law of Surrender

Because people so cherish the self, surrendering is a very frightening experience. A person may experience the surrender as a leap into an abyss or as death. This may be perceived because she/he has not yet attained a complete trust and faith in God, the complete assurance that once the self is abandoned, the being automatically merges with a higher stage of existence which is necessarily ready and waiting to accept it. There is no chance for the process not to function. At the instance of surrender, the entire being of the individual merges into the specific higher manifestation of reality that it is in relation to the point in its development. God streams into the soul that has managed to negate the self. This is the surrender of the ider of 'i'.

Babies have complete trust. When they see an adult they like, they will jump and trust that you will grab him.

There are moments in your life when you feel empty, despite all that you have materially.

When the student is ready, the master will appear. This master may not be a guru with long beard and so on. It could be an ordinary person. It could even be your child.

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95. The Law of Synthesis

You don't have to join a religion to learn about God, because it is inherently in us.

96. The Law of Teaching

This law concerns the responsibility people have to pass on that which they learn, for the continuation of the human race to benefit by this information, if it is the higher interest of people to learn the acquired information.

We have to pass down everything we know, unlike the Chinese martial arts master who would keep something to himself and not transfer to his disciple for fear of the latter being better than he is.

People who practises separation are the same. That is why they set up all those Chinese clan associations to share business information within themselves. They usually do not share them with people outside the association.

The Malays pride themselves with "Bahasa, Bangsa, Ugama". This have prevented them from growing at a rate that they should. Without growth, there is no replenishment. Wouldn't you prefer to swim under a waterfall, where water is replished continuously and perpetually, than in a still pond with stale water where even the fishes die?

Religion = Heart

Language = Love

Race = Humanity

97. The Law of Telepathy

When Jesus was born, there were Three Wise Men who arrived at the stable. They come from thousands of miles apart from each other. One from Tibet, another Egypt and another from Persia. They come from afar, crossing deserts, bringing the logistics and gifts they are supposed to bring guided only by stars - and all arrived on time! Isn't it amazing!

98. The Law of Three Requests

Whenever we pray or request a higher power to assist, we bring stronger energy to the effort by repeating our request/prayer three times.

This is the power or Three.

99. The Law of Time

The only moment we have is now. This is where we create. What we have done is done and that moment in history exists only as a record or energy trace in time and space. The consequences of past actions are atoned through karma, and canbe rewritten to a degree. The FUTURE only ever happens in and from the present tense and is built of today's thoughts, dressed by emotion and driven by action. Activity is key. Third dimension living has more rigid structure of time than fourth dimension existence. There are those who can slip into 'no time' but these are people who have raised their personal vibration (demonstrating many virtues, dispensed a great deal of karma and much killing of ego) and accessed the information to create the ability. Third dimension linear time was created for those living under this veil of forgetfulness to center in the moment and perceive a sense of order without the remembrance of burdens of past lives.

People who live in the past, cannot go on with their lives.

100. The Law of Unconditional Love

Loving ourselves and other people as they are, is honoring self and another's self and soul path. It is loving without judgment or reservation, an awareness we are all part of God or the All. When we love without condition or restraint we connect in a profound manner with our own higher self. We notice that we say the right things at the right time in our communication with others while loving unconditionally. Life and events seem to flow to us in a more joyous and agreeable manner. Everything seems easy when living in unconditional love.

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Our true nature is Love. Anything else other than Love cannot exist.

eg. Shadow does not exist. Shine light on shadow and the shadow will disappear.

101. The Law of Unity

We are all connected, all bearing the seed of Divinity. this is the way we start, and the way we develop into eternity. It is only while in third dimension physical form, and because of the greater separation of our higher self from the personality, we experience the illusion that we stand alone. Fear enters our emotional body because of this illusion and begins to close more profoundly our connection to the Source. Also, when we experience great soul growth, in some small but profound manner, all benefit. All substance in this Universe flows to us and through us. We are All.

102. The Law of Universal Sympathy

This law concerns a yogic power which allows a Yogi to transfer information, or influence others' mind.

If something happens to one, it happens to all. For instance, if I cut my finger, my whole body gets affected in various degrees.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. My whole body is greater and more useful than just my fingers. Yet the finger doesn't know of other fingers and the whole. The fingers also work together and cannot be offended by each other.

So you cannot hurt someone and say it does not affect you. We are all in One whole.

103.The Law of Vibration

Nothing rests; everything moves,; everything vibrates. This is the law of progress, of movement and of rotation. This principle explains that the differences between manifestations of matter, energy, mind and spirit, result largely from varying rates in vibration. All that exists, is in constant vibration and motion. Atoms always vibrate with such great rapidity that they seem motionless to the physical eye. At the other end of the scale are things that vibrate so slowly that they also appear to be motionless or non-existent. In between are the various vibrations of living entities which range from consciousness all the way down to the lowly dust particle that plays an important role in the food chain. Still there are even things lower then dust... way down to the negative pole (undifferentiated matter), we find ourselves in the realm of spirit - the Alpha and the Omega. All that is, begins in spirit and ends in spirit completing a single cycle of evolution that will be repeated countless numbers of times through eternity.

So everything vibrates at a frequency.

When we change our tv channels we change the receiving frequencies.

104. The Law of Will of God

The creators of our world carry out their work of form building under this law. God's working has to do with things free from change and movement - things divine. It is God's will that what is human should be divine, and therefore all creation pushes forth to the God Light. God is all good and it is by reason of the Good that all other things exist.

105. The Law of Will Power

This law concerns the individual drive within a soul extension/personality which is projected from the complete entity. The individual developing soul extension differs in degree of will power from its other entity extensions/soul family members. Depending on the conditions of an incarnational experience and the incoming will of this extension, the personality can possess a drive to accomplish something that that may ssem overwhelming to others in the soul family and/or other incarnational personalities (friends). This law depicts the right and condition of each personality or soul extension to generate it's own degree of will power.

Do post your comments, opinions, views, and even questions here! We can start an online community and forum.

Past posts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5


[My notes: The 105 Universal Laws can be found in
http://www.awakening-intuition.com/Universal_Laws.doc ]


This is the last episode of the "105 Universal Laws" seminar series.
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Monday, May 28, 2007

Spiritual Parenting - The Seminar


This posting is based on what I have learned from the "Spiritual Parenting" seminar on the 26th May 2007 in Singapore by Dr Aaron Lim.
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Warning: This posting contains opinions that may be considered unacceptable by some people. If you are easily offended by unconventional views about religion and spiritualism, then DO NOT READ FURTHER THAN HERE. If you do, then do it at your own risk! If you do not agree with the views expressed below, it does not mean that you have not 'arrived', rather it just mean that you 'do not agree'. Meanwhile, try to be open. There are lots to discover about ourselves when we are open. Do feel free to leave comments.
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BELIEVING IS NOT NECESSARY!
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I am a Parent and a Child
Many of us forget that while we are parents, we are also children - Children of our Parents! So, before you would say something to your child, think, "What if my parent say that to me?"
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How many of us here have asked our parents before we come to this seminar?
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[Chuckles and laughter...]
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So we shouldn't stop our children from doing what they want to do.
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Recycling
Everyday, people die; Everyday people are born. Re-incarnation is happening everyday.
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How many of you here believe in Re-incarnation?
[Many hands came up.]
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Rebirth?
[the same many hands came up.]
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Recycle?
[more hands came up, amid chuckles.]
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If you find it too religious to think of it as rebirth or reincarnation, then take it as recycle.
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Everything in the Universe goes through recycling... the trees shed their leaves, it goes to the ground and into the soil to grow the tree and other trees...etc.
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So, there is no such thing as a 'past life', but just an energy stream changing from form to form - that is, we have past embodiments.
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Choosing our Parents
Our children also have past embodiments. They pick their most likely parents most like themselves in consciousness. They choose their parents to fulfil themselves.
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That is why couples go to beautiful romantic places for their honeymoon, so there are no spirits with low consciousness lurking around waiting to take form as their children.
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You can 'design' the children you want. First change yourself to be like the children you want, for they (your children to be) will be attracted to you to be your children.
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People with 'low consciousness' ('low' here refers to 'low in love', not as in 'low class') have many kids. Because people with low consciousness take any soul willing to manifest as humans.
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People with 'high consciousness' have few kids, because there are not so many such souls around.
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[I asked: So, if there are a few souls willing to manifest as one's child, which one gets to do so?
Answer: The one who wants it the most and nudged the rest out. It is akin to the millions of sperm swimming to get the egg.]
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Fulfill your Child's Needs
So, there is no need to force the kids to go to school if they don't want to. Children are always older souls than their parents. They have already learned many things in their past embodiments. If they are slow in learning something, it means that they have not learned it before. They will show resistance to subjects not learned before.
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For instance, I have a PhD in Botany, but I am hopeless in maths. I love biology, but not physics and chemistry, because there are maths in the last two subjects. So anything with maths, I would show resistance.
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So, release the struggle. Stop the fights. A parent's job is to help the child fulfill themselves. It is easy to be a father but difficult to be Dad. It is easy to be a mother, but difficult to be Mum.
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It is an "upside down world" where "old is young"; "clever is stupid"...etc.
Our children are from an older soul; and some clever people are so smart that they are seen as eccentrics by many, and therefore are called 'stupid'. Children are here to teach us.
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Here someone share his experience... see Kids Play 3
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Ask yourself, "What can I learn from my children?"
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Tell your children, " Thank you for teaching me."
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How many of you have told your children,
"If I had known I can have a child like you, I wouldn't mind having a million of you. Thank you for choosing me as your father. You brought me joy!"
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Someone from the Audience: "Yes, after your last 105 Universal Law lecture, I did that. My son was so happy and we hugged."
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[Isn't that wonderful!]
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Switch from 'Ownership' to 'Stewardship'.
Stewardship serves to enhance others lives. As parents, we steward our children to go to school to be learn to be useful and to be valuable - not to 'earn more money' - that is the worse thing to do. Money always go to people who are valuable. People who are valuable always stick to agreement.
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So it is important that we strike agreements with our children and stick to them.
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For instance, we have an agreement with our children that if they want their clothes washed, they must bring it down from their bedrooms to the laundry room downstairs. One winter morning, one of our daughters come down searching for her socks, but couldn't find them. Then we realised she hadn't brought her dirty clothes (therefore her socks) downstairs to be washed. So now, she has no clean socks to wear. Now, this is winter and it can be cold without socks. But we didn't go soft. The agreement was made and she did not follow and now had to bear the consequences of not having socks to wear going out into the cold in winter.
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Does it hurt us as parents knowing that she did not have socks to wear in the cold?
[Audience: Yes!]
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Did we soften our stance?
[Audience: No!]
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Did my wife go upstairs to check her room for dirty clothes to bring down to the laundry to wash in future?
[Audience: No!]
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Did my daughter remember to bring down her clothes to the laundry in future?
[Audience: Yes!]
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So, we didn't punish her, but we taught her about 'choice and consequences'; and that it is important to keep to agreements.
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Again, people who are valuable always stick to agreements.
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However, be flexible, do not have too many agreements and rules. It is stifling. For me, we have three basic behavioural rules that we do not compromise:

1. Always say hello to the Guest

2. Always say "Thank you"

3. Always smile.

That's all.

Children's glory are not our glory. They all come from different energy streams, that is why they are all different, although nutured the same way by the same parents.
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There are simple experiments where there are several placed in front of the child for the him to pick up. The item he picks up intuitively usually signifies what he is going to be when he grows up. These items usually represents professions like, a pen, a brush, money, a book...etc. It is said to come with pretty good accuracy. I have witnessed a baby who went straight for the money and his next 50 years that was all he did. Though not a very rich man till today! :)
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[Side tracked] You see you can't run after money. If you do, money runs away from you. This is what this man did. I have seen him for 50 years myself, always going after money. Those of you who have attended my Rich People Poor People Seminar, you would know that it is not about money. It is about loving people.
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[My comment: Essentially, it is about "Loving People, Using Money", NOT "Loving Money, Using People"]
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Parents by Themselves Again!
We don't own our children. Children come through you but not from you. They have their own life. Two persons who didn't know about each other when they are born will one day be closest to each other. They will be more important to each other than they are to their parents. This will come to your children too, if it hasn't happen yet. So release our children.
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If your own lives are fulfilled, you don't look at other people's lives, including your children's. If you worry and worry about your children's lives, it is an indication that your own lives are not fulfilled. Right or not?
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Hello? Are you there? Why no answer (response)?
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[Laughter!!! We are all in deep reflection!!!!]
[My comment: We are all wondering if we are actors in the plot.]
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So live your life. Don't put your life on 'hold' and wait for the children to grow up.
Would it be terrible to have your tombstone one day saying,
"Died 20, Buried 80"?
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Children will be grown and gone, but the spouse will still be there. [Well, mostly. :) ]
Remember what makes your spirit sing!
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Remember for wives, your first 'child' is always a 'son' - your husband. But don't be his 'mother'.
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Usually, after the birth of the first child, the husband becomes number 2 to the wife. This is not fair to the man, as she has asked him to share his life with her. Over time, frustrated, the man will look for a number 1 elsewhere. Man can love more than one wife at the same time, they can cope up with it emotionally. Women can't. If the relationship is wrecked, it will be hard to rebuild it after the children are gone. Your future is not with your children.
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If you don't have a spiritual relationship with your spouse, you can't have a spiritual relationship with your children.
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Many married people are very lonely. It's all about duties and responsibilities. Spouses are not talking to one another. It is also hard to release their emotional problems to friends as they are too private and personal.
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Most men are angry!
Most women are frustrated!
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Most men are angry, because they are doing so much and getting so little reward. Most men regard themselves as breadwinners - bringing back money to feed the family.
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Most women are frustrated, feeling overburdened by too many duties and responsibilities.
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So set the first half an hour for yourself everyday - whatever that is. If you are too busy for that day, then set the last half of the day for yourself.
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Women who don't give something for themselves may get breast cancer later on in their lives.

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Case Studies
During the break, I have spoken to some of you regarding your encounters with your children. May I share some cases with the class?
[nods from them...]
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Now, Adip (not real name), you have caned your daughter recently. After the caning, you tried apologising to her, but she refused to accept the apology. Even when you wanted to bring her for a holiday to Malacca together, she turned you down.
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I tell you, going for holidays will not solve the problem. You need to seek her forgiveness first. And when you apologise, do it properly, don't go on something like, "I am sorry, but if you had been a good girl, I wouldn't have gotten so angry and caned you...etc".
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Emotional abuses are very hard to overcome. Physically abused children will grow up to become parents who will physically abuse their children. Abused children will find it hard to be close to their parents.
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[Question: But I think it is good to use the cane sometimes.
Answer: First of all, don't look at incidents in life as 'good' or 'bad', but 'choice and consequences'.
Think. What consequences will you get out of caning your child?"]
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In another separate case, there is a mother among you who gets everything ready for the son, but yet things are not working out. Think of it, if you do everything for your son, is there a life for him? He feels controlled.
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We have to differentiate between love and control.
Consider the following scenario in a commercial aircraft...
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Passenger : Coffee please!
Stewardess: No, I think Cuppucino is better for you!
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It wouldn't work well would it?
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Control brings disastrous results.
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[At this point, someone volunteered to share a case study...
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"My father-in-law had a very bossy mother who controlled his life. He lived a lonely childhood as he didn't have siblings to play with and his mother didn't allow his friends to play with him at home. When he grew up, he married a woman who is also very bossy and controlled his life. He was a teacher but hated teaching, because the children ran circles around him and made fun of him. Gradually, he lost most of his other interests. Life was reduced to just work and home, and Sundays at the church.
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Then just after his retirement, he got a severe kind of dementia and was bedridden for 2 years, before passing away. Miserable sight.
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His daughter wanted to pre-empt history repeating itself and consciously married a man with the can-do attitude, a definite opposite to her father's character. That worked in the beginning, but later that fell out too. Her programming at the age of 0-7 years was already too strong in her.
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Control has caused so much harm to this very intelligent and gentle man. Isn't it sad! ]

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People who lived a controlled life, didn't have a life and wants to forget their miseries. This is burned into their sub-conscious and resulted in Alzheimer. *sigh*
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[Comment from the Audience: But children change their interests ever so frequently when they grow up.]
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Of course they do. When my son was little, he told me he is going to sell fish. We encouraged him. We say if you are going to sell fish, be the biggest fish seller around. But did he end up selling fish? No. It doesn't really matter if he sold fish, the point is that we should support them and bring the greatness out in them.
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Bring out the greatness in Children!
So, always bring out the greatness in your child. Support their interests and aspirations. Encourage them to do things.
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I was once asked to give a talk to some children from an orphanage. Before I started, I was told to beware of one of the boys who was said to be a 'trouble-maker'. This boy seemed to be a withdrawn quiet boy. He said nothing much.
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Then after the break, he took a stack of papers and placed them on my table and said, "This for you!" and walked away. When I looked what was on the papers, I was amazed. This is one good comic artist in the making. He drew many dragons, naming them and drawing stories about them...etc. He even wanted to call himself 'dragon'.
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Immediately, I identified that perhaps he should go to a drawing school. So I asked him, "Would you like to go to a school where you only draw?"
"Only draw, can. I go", he said.
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So now, he is in the art school. Some other participants from my "A Course in Miracles" seminar in Kuala Lumpur, also chipped in to sponsor this talented boy. So you see, we all have different passions and talents, that are waiting to be talented.
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[My comment: In fact, only 30% of children are naturally academically inclined. But we are forcing everyone to go through the same education!]
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Divine mothers always want to remind you of your greatness.
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We need to live a happy life without control or co-dependence. We don't need the 'approval' fo anyone to be happy. If don't need approval, we are free. There is no need to be afraid that others will not love me and no need to abuse ourselves so that others will love me.
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Do I love myself so little?
When children fight, let them fight. As long as they are not hitting below the belt or using knives or sticks, let them fight. Ask them what each of them has done to get there. Teach them about choice and consequences. Don't take sides.
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[Question: We started buying toys for both my boys and told them they have to share them harmoniously. If they fight, there will be no more toys for them in future. This seemed to work. Is this strategy healthy?
Answer: Is this done with as an agreement with them?
Questioner: Yes.
Answer: Then it is ok. As long as there are agreements and stuck to, it is fine.]
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What if it all still go wrong despite doing all the above?
We have to accept whatever comes to our children.
What happened if they get pregnant? Become a drug addict...etc.
Of course we teach them to stay away from these problems but it is still their choices and consequences.
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But if you love them and praise them you reduce the chance of them being a drug addict or a delinquent...etc, because they will be trying so hard to make you happy and not disappoint you.
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We had once asked all our children around the table if they ever got drunk. To our surprise, they all owned up to having one experience (though we had advised them not to get drunk). Then we asked them how it felt and they said that they felt awful and will never want to do it again! Ok, we have asked them not to, but being kids they still did it, but the difference is that they open up to us and told us it was awful and will not do it again!
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We do not know when greatness will come up.
There is a saying that "The Master was once a disaster".
The City Harvest church founder, for instance, was once a drug addict.
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[This reminded me of a talk by Ajahn Brahm when he spoke about his father telling him one evening by a side street in England,
"Son, no matter what happened my door is always open for you."
Years later Ajahn Brahm read that his father meant that his heart is always open for him.]
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We can only set good examples for them to follow. For instance, it will be futile to tell the child to study if they have not seen you picking up a book to read. So we can only love them and guide them in their lives. Changing from 'ownership' to 'stewardship'.
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The seminar ended here. The day seemed to have passed so quickly as we all got so absorbed as we contemplated so deeply within ourselves to see how well (or badly) we have performed thus far as spiritual parents.
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Feel free to leave any comments. Let's start an online community! :)
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Past posts: Preview



All financial surpluses from the seminar go to the orphanages that Dr Aaron Lim supports.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Kids Play 4


Vic (11 years old) is in a Kinesiologist clinic.
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Kinesiologist: There is something paradoxical in Vic's character.
Vic (to mum): What is 'paradoxical'?
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Mum: That means two different parts of your character are contradictory but yet essentially co-existent.
Vic: Really? I don't think I am into schizophrenia yet! :)
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In Memory of My School Principal Mr Ong Kim Siong

Class of '76 Reunion - 2004
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My secondary school principal Mr Ong Kim Siong, passed away peacefully on the 22nd May 2007. A group of us, ex-students of Toh Tuck Secondary School, attended the wake on the 24th.
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Those of you who have lived in the 70s will remember Toh Tuck as one of the more colourful (read notorious) schools during that era. So, it came as a surprise when Mrs Ong told us that Toh Tuck was the late Mr Ong's favourite school, though he had taught and stewarded in the premier league schools in Singapore. Mrs Ong said that though Mr Ong felt it was challenging experience, it was also his most memorable and meaningful time in his career.
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I remember Mr Ong as one who managed to tame us during school assembly. School assembly to most of us were unbearable during those days. More than six hundred of us, cooped up in the school assembly hall without air-conditioning amid the humid tropical climate. We absolutely hated assembly and were always chatting away when the teacher/speaker speaks. Who cared those days! After all, we were all naughty boys and girls that couldn't even sit still for very long typically.
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Mr Ong tamed us by bringing in mass singing instead of those preachy mundane school speeches, and made all of us ticked. We all sang in harmony and even enjoyed doing so. It was amazing. From resentment to joy!
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While we were a school far down in the academic league, Mr Ong never treated anyone of us any lesser. He told one of us that there was once when he had a father of a boy crashing into his office without warning and started bashing up the boy up, without even asking what the boy's misdeed was. (The boy was called up to the principal's office awaiting the arrival of his father.)
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Mr Ong immediately stopped the father and told him that with his actions, the boy will grow to be exactly to be like him - violent and angry! Beating up a child like this only reinforces in the child that violence is the right way to solve problems. Children follow their parents, more than what the parents speak of (that the child usually prefer not to listen). To Mr Ong, there is no such thing as a bad student, but unfortunate and inconducive environment for the child to learn and grow in.
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A few years later when I met him in a conference in the 80s, he told me that he would like to see a school system where there are only winners and that all students get rewarded. At that time, I didn't quite understand what he meant and even thought it would be impossible and idealistic to institute such a reward system in a highly competitive society like Singapore. Now 31 years later and I am now the same age as he was when he was my principal, I can see what he meant - ie. he wanted to see the goodness in every child regardless of their prevailing weaknesses.
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Thank you Mr Ong for your patience and guidance in our tender young days. Through your stewardship many of us are now responsible parents and useful citizens - no more the naughty boys or girls we used to be!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Kusu Island Reef Walk


I woke up at 4.30am and had slept only 3 hours. It was a Sunday morning (20May07) to boot! It was the morning for the Kusu Island Reef Walk organised by the Blue Water Volunteers.


The Blue Water Volunteers (BWV) is a volunteer-based, marine conservation NGO that seeks to complement research activities and increase awareness of local marine habitats, such as coral reefs. Read more. They have organised this trip for all of us. We got one big boat full of participants of about 50 people.


This 5am at Marina South Pier. We are to set off at 6am.

It was first light when we arrived on this southern island of Singapore which is about 20 minutes away by boat.




Legend has it that a giant tortoise had saved some drowning mariners in a ship wreck and had emerged to form this island. The original island is tiny with just a small hillock with a Malay Kramat (shrine) on top and a Chinese temple.
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Reclamation work has killed a big part of the coral reef, but over the last ten years, new recruits have come to join in the remaining reef and had grown substantially.
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Taoist devotees from Singapore, Malaysia and some say Batam too, come to pray at this temple on the Ninth Full Moon.

. This is the famous little temple of Kusu.

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Since the reclamation, the National Parks has done a good job beautifying the place and also adding a proper ferrypoint to the island. I remember I had to transfer from bumboats to small sampans to get to the shore, and then wade through the waters to set foot on the ground.
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The trees there are Coconut and Casuarina. I learned from the guide that Casuarina are also natural seaside trees, as it is tolerant to salt. It is not from the Pine family.
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Notice that there are 4 concentric lines on the sands. This are tide lines. There are two high and two low tides a day.

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Zoom in on one of the shorelines. Many shells.


Our guide started by asking us to pick up whatever that is around us that we think is a living thing. I had some problems doing that in the beginning as I thought most things look quite dead to me.


These are some of the living things our group picked up. These are simply land plants that has migrated from the land to the waters, probably because there is less competition for food nearer the waters. A plant is a vegetation that has roots, stems and leafs.
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A seaweed is therefore not a plant. Seaweeds don't have roots. They just float around in the water.
. These are some shells. Some of them are snails and some are shells adopted by hermit crabs. They are moving. Why do you think they are found in colonies? We will come back to the answer later...
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These slimy stuff are algae.
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This is one living thing we were prohibited from picking up. The guide stood in front of it to make sure none of us picked it up by accident.
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This is a sea anemone. The little brown patch around the centre is the mouth and the anus. So it is one of these creatures that eat and shit in the same place. It is akin to some bosses having extra-marital affairs in the office with their secretaries! :)
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By the way, don't be fooled by the demure looks of anemones. They can be very vicious when the catch their predator. The latter will be knocked out with their secreted mucus and then consumed at the mouth (or anus).
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This is a fan worm. It anchors to the ground but fans out in full bloom in the waters. When touched, it retracts immediately like the land mimosa plant.
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This looks like and ordinary rock to me, but the guide told us that it is a sanctuary for sea snails.
. See. Sea snails hidden behind a rock crevice.
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This is a Butter worm.

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This hole is borrowed and fortified with rocks by a shrimp. He uses it as his santuary.


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Can you see the goby skipper? It is in the hole in the middle of the picture. It is a lot smaller than the mud skipper.


This is a coral community. It is like a colony of many anemones. Each 'dot' within each honeycomb represents one clone. They multiply by cloning within the community.


This is an anemone.



Usually corals form walls like these.

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Notice that the top of the coral colony is bald. This is because of the tides and exposure to the sun.
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This is a sea slug. It is well camouflage on the rock.

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This coral is very well anchored into the rock crevice. Big colony.


This is a shrimp that lives in the anemone. It is a symbiotic relationship between the shrimp and the anemone. The shrimp protects the anemone and the anemone does not poison the shrimp.

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One of the participants in our group said that he would more accurately use the word "(mutual)exploitation" instead of "symbiotic relationship". By the way, I was lucky to be in a group of people with a biology background or a keen interest in marine biology. I learned lots from their questions. Thanks guys!




Notice that the corals is more colourful once it is under water.

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Does this remind you of the Esplanade? (Theatres by the Bay on the mainland)

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One of the guides told us that we can tell about the environmental conditions of the shore by looking at the different shapes of the coral living there. These ones have trapped air bubbles that keeps it afloat when the tide comes in.




This is the False Clown Fish that lives around the anemone. Its Hollywood name is "Nemo". Same 'symbiotic', (opps!) I mean 'exploitive' relationship between fish and anemone. There are two theories that abound:

1. That the fish emits the same mucus that tells the anemone that he is one of them, so 'don't eat me'.

2. That the fish moves in such a way that the anemone thinks that it is part of itself.

These are not sea grapes, but part of the coral that contains air to help it float nicely upright when the water comes in.


This is how it looks like when submerged. The tide is gradually drawing in. That's the reason for having to wake up at 4.30am this morning to catch the low tide and first light.

This gruesome looking coral colony is called "Dead Men's Fingers". They look like what it is called. The two white lumps on the bottom of the photo are not another coral colony - they are my shoes!!! And definitely not dead men's feet! :)




See what I mean?

Yaks! Good thing I had not have my breakfast then.


Notice these coral colony has its top fully grown, not bald. This is due to different water levels and the amount of sun it is exposed to.

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These look like flotsam or debris from litter bugs, but they are not.

They are sponges. You can't use these as domestic sponges as it has a mucus that won't go well with your skin. They are soft like sponges.

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Notice that the different corals stick to their own space. So even in marine life, "birds of a feather flock together". You only attract what you already are. Law of Attraction! :)


When their territories get very close, there will be a turf war! Competition for resources.





This is a very junior Blenny Eel.
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This is a sea cucumber, but not the type that Chinese people eats. It moves!
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The UV light absorbed by the coral are eventually let out again in the form of bright colours.
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This is a moat. The difference between a moat and a crab is that the inside between the gills are hollow.
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Notice the round 'fruit'. These carry air bubbles to keep these seaweeds afloat.
.The name 'star fish' is a misnomer, since this is not a fish. It looks very cuddly and cute, but it is very vicious when it catches its prey. It will just grab it, crush it and eats it. The centre is its mouth. When cut into pieces, it will clone itself to several star fishes.
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Some kind hearted divers try to help star fish populations by dividing them and helping them to multiply, which is not necesarily a good move as having too many star fish will deplete some of the marine life they feed on. So kindness must always be exercised with wisdom! :)




We inverted a star fish to see how it can twist itself back into position. It is very stressful for the star fish, so after witnessing it for the initial five minutes, we helped it by flipping it over.
.Soon after we flipped it over, it quickly borrow into the sand.This is one of the 6 groups. My group comprises students, biologists and marine live enthusiasts.
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This is the shoreline of the mainland in the distance. The casino (oops!), Integrated Resort will be up in 2008 on Sentosa Island. Visitors to Kusu will certainly go up. Hopefully, the government will not develop this island into a luxury island paradise for the super rich who will have their bungalows with the marina in the backyard. If this happens, the coral community will be decimated. Read more
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We were told to guess the number of species we have on Kusu. One of us said 40, I thought it would be about 20. The guide said that the Australian Great Barrier Reef which is 6,000 times the size of Singapore has about 400 plus species. We have 200 plus species on this small island. We are truly a nation of migrants. Even in marine life! Isn't it amazing! Many people do not know this, including many Singaporeans.
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Even Malaysian coral reefs do not have the same diversity in a small area. Perhaps this is something uniquely Singaporean. A treasure which I think is more valuable than money.
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Yes, have you got the answer to the question as to why those marine lives thrive in communities?
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Answer: That living things live for the only one thing - SEX,...erh...I mean to reproduce itself.
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Some human beings live like these too! :)
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Corals reproduce by spawning eggs and sperm three or four days after the Full Moon in April each year. The eggs and sperm will be carried by the tides to other coral reefs to be fertilised.
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Question from a group member: "Isn't this a risky strategy to reproduce?"
Answer from the guide: "That is why they all spawn at the same time to increase their chances".
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Coral conservation therefore has to to happen regionally. In order to protect Singapore corals, the Malaysian and Indonesian reefs too have to be protected.
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Corals protects our shoreline. They are also a source where new medicines are discovered.
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Blue Water Volunteers are started by a group of marine conservationists after an expedition to protect a coral reef. I applaud them for their efforts. It is hoped that through reef walks like these that more people gets educated on the importance of nature conservation.


The Reef Walk took about two hours. It was a splendid education for me. The Dalai Lama says it is important to spend a day walking in nature every week. This is certainly true.
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While waiting for the ferry, I wandered up the hillock to visit the Malay shrine.


I am surprised Chinese people come here to pray too.
This again, can only happen in Singapore. Another custom that is Uniquely Singapore! :)

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It is heartening to know that there is an increasing awareness of our need to conserve our nature reserves. I have been introduced to this walk by a friend of mine when he met me by chance at Mount Faber during a guided walk by a National Park Volunteer. He conducts tours on his personal accord and free of charge. He informs his mailing list of nature lovers by email only. Usually he gets about 40-50 people.

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As I was in Kusu for this particular Sunday, a University Alumni friend of mine was in Pulau Ubin to be trained as a volunteer guide. This was sponsored by a NGO funded by the Singapore Environmental Council.

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Last, but not least, the guide recommended us to visit this website http://www.wildsingapore.com/ . It lists the wilder the areas of Singapore besides our nightspots. :)