My mother is not well. She is afraid and worried about her health. Her head is dizzy everyday and she is tired. This has gone on for four years. We have brought her to many doctors, both Western and Eastern, but there has been little or no improvements.
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A few days ago, I brought her to a masseuse. This masseuse is the grand daughter of a royal physician to the Chinese Royal family, and she has inherited the secrets of healing by massage and herbal cure from her grandmother.
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As we were sitting in the waiting room, my mother was complaining about the Buddhist chants that was played in the background music. She said that disturbs her a lot. I am surprised as many people would find the chanting pleasurable. Besides, my mother is a Taoist/Buddhist.
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While waiting there, I started reading a Buddhist book on the shelves - "Making Life Meaningful", by Lama Thubten Zopa Rinpoche. I finished a few chapters in that space of time and was fully absorbed by his advice that if we fill our hearts with compassion, we will insulate ourselves from all sufferings. To live a life for others in everything we do. If we do so, then all our miseries will vanish. Just like shadows would vanish when shone upon by light. It is as simple as that. That realisation itself is enough to fill me up with energy and purpose.
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Thinking about it, my late father was like that. He lived a simple life, sleeping early and waking up early before sunrise for his morning walks. He didn't need any luxury, taking a bus downtown once a month for his hair-cut and then ordering groceries from his ex-business partner's son. I remember he was still joking with me on the Sunday before his passing away. Then on Wednesday, he went for his haircut, caught a cold and lost his apetite. The next day, he didn't wake up. He was 89 and was healthy till the last minute of his life.
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Meanwhile, back in the waiting room, the masseuse was ready to attend to my mum. To my surprise, my mother asked me to stay in the waiting room to wait for her rather than to go across the road for my coffee. Somehow, my mother was afraid to be left alone with the masseuse. She was never like that. An irony, as she is a competent and strong woman who have brought eight of us up single-handedly, most of us to university education and responsible adults. What happened?
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I can only guess it is "FEAR". Fear of dying. Many of her friends from her village in China are already gone! She is fearing of her own death! And hence the discomfort with the Buddhist chants as they probably reminded her of funeral rites.
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Most Chinese people are so fearful, they would not discuss about death openly, let alone about the subject and their mother.
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But what is there to fear about?
Sister Teresa Hsu who is 109 years old said last year, "If you worry about dying, you will die. If you don't worry about dying, you still die. So why worry?"
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(Sister Hsu is a wise grand dame in Singapore who does lots of charity work to old folks many years younger than she is.)
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Soon, an hour lapsed and my mother's massage is done. She felt better. She openly expressed it to be so. Normally, she is so negative about everything. Let's hope her condition will progress. She will be going there again next week.
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A few days later, at the coffee shop session after the Theosophical Society meeting, my friend Irene said that 'Death' is a misnomer, as we cannot die, but merely transit from one form to another. Her own mother had a 'near death experience' and came back to report that it was wonderful. Without the burden of her physical body, she felt very light and could sounds with high clarity and everything appeared in vibrant colours. After that experience, her mother was never afraid of death!
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