."Be careful!" This is usually uttered as a well-meaning advice, but most of the time only creates fear. Mostly, the person who utters this does it from his own fear.
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'Be careful', but be careful with what? The listener will not know what he needs to be careful with. So, it results in no more than seeding fear and if it goes uncorrected, the fear will germinate and grow.
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Recently, I told my sister that my friend cycles to work every morning. "Be careful!" she said.
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We have all heard these such goody-goody advice before. "I am going to do business in China", one says, and the other replies, "Be careful!" :)
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Be careful with what?
If the advice comes with "Be careful, if they are not consistent with what they say..." or "Be careful, if they start dropping big names to impress you...", etc, then at least you know what to be careful with.
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Mothers often screamed in consternation when they see their babies crawling towards the staircase. "URGHHH!!!! BE CAREFUL!!!!" Instantly, the fear is burned into the babies psyche. The next time, he crawls near the staircase, more likely than not, he will hear the same scream. Over time, he will fear staircases when he gets near, then more screams... Soon he will fear the staircase when he is about 3 meters away.
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Instead of screaming, the mother could have approached her baby gently and explain to him. Babies are often more intelligent and reasonable than we make them out to be. When you reason with them, you will notice that they listen to you lovingly. That way, you develop confidence in the child from day one. It is not easy and definitely is labour intensive. Screaming is easier, but it creates fear.
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So the next time if you want to give a well-meaning advice, "BE CAREFUL!!!" :)
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Don't give unqualified unquantified advice for it will seed fear and it will fester and become larger than life!
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