Small Talk

I had a relaxing group meditation a few evenings ago, guided by a teacher.

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However, I didn't enjoy the discussion. I feel that it is unnecessary to discuss about what we experience during meditation, as everyone's experience (path) is unique. It has little to do with what others have experienced or is experiencing. There is also a tendency that such discussions can lead to meditators looking up to the other person's experience as superior, especially if it is coming from the teacher or a more experienced meditator, thus creating a conscious limit to the meditator's spiritual development.

Till Death Do Us Part, 3 - Heart-to-Heart

I got this from an email from a friend (original source unknown):

Why do People Shout In Anger?

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' 

The disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.' 

'But, why do we have to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' 

The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. 

Finally, he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are distanced. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. 

The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance." 

Then the saint asked, "What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? 

Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small..." 

The saint continued, "When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not just speak, they whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they do not even need to whisper, they look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other."

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. 

In Sickness and In Health 13 - Recover

We all go through ups and downs. This includes our health. While sick, the food didn't taste so good, so I ate very slowly.  Gladly, this has become a habit, as I gradually adapt to the slower pace. This will do my body a good service, as I had wanted to eat slower for a long while, but have not managed to do so. So, falling sick was probably timely.

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Everything happens for a reason. Now that I am well, I have to remember to continue to listen to it carefully.

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My Double Life

I got a couple of hours notice by text message in the evening, then rushed back to start packing and I was on the next flight to the Gulf in the morning. It was hardly a good time, as I had a flu, a bad cough and also some outstanding problems to solve in Singapore.

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So I was on board, sick, tired and troubled. But all these were quickly forgotten the moment I turned to the movie "Mama Mia", as it instantly transported me back to the ABBA-mania of the seventies. Listening to their songs this time, the lyrics cut a deeper meaning as I realised that they were mostly expressing the intricate emotional struggles in relationships. "Mama Mia" will resonate well with those who have lived through the hippie era, ABBA music, and those divorced with teenage children struggling with a small business like a guest house (as the movie is about) ! :)  Here is are some clips:

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The plane finally arrived at the destination and I was thus returned to reality just as quickly. There was a large crowd of people, mostly immigrant workers from the Indian sub-continent at the immigration posts. Then, one of the grey haired older one approached me and indicated with his hand what I thought was that he needed a pen to fill in his arrival card. Then, as I passed him my pen, he shook his head and gently pushed both the card and pen to me. Obviously, he couldn't understand English and wanted me to fill the card for him. Later, I realised he couldn't understand Arabic either. That man is illiterate! It has been a long while since I have met anyone illiterate that I have forgotten they are still around. 

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Then, as I filled in the card for him, I was shocked to find out that he is actually younger than I am. He looked like he is in his 50s but actually is only 36! Working under the hot desert sun, must have taken a toil on them and aged them many years rapidly.

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Being transported from my personal strife to the fantasy world and now into the harsh reality of migrant workers in the desert, I was mentally stretched. Still struggling with my flu and cough, already had me exhausted and so when I got out of the gates, I was so pleased to see the limo driver holding the placard with my name. By the time I reached the hotel, I just fell onto my bed and knocked out.

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The breakfast in the following morning was good, but the staff didn't look very happy. They weren't smiling and their service was very mechanical and they looked compelled. Anyway, since they have served me, I thank each of them, including the cooks and the captain before I left. After all, it was a lot of work waking up early to prepare such a big buffet and present them so beautifully.

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It is pleasant to be back in the Gulf once in a while. The people I deal with have always been pleasant and polite with me. Going back once in a while feels like I am returning to see old friends.

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Ali, one of my friends there, told me of a true incident in Dubai recently where an accountant walked away with a million dollars in his bag. He left the car at the airport. In it, he left his cut beard and a note saying that the money is for him and the beard is for them. This man had grown his beard to look like he is living like the Prophet to gain the trust of the people for the last four years. And when he finally had his chance, he ran away with the money. Ali concluded that religion is in the heart, not in the external appearances. Everything is between one's heart and God and nothing else.

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The next morning at breakfast, the waiters brightened up and smiled as they saw me. One of them even asked how I was. It was a contrasting difference and a pleasant surprise. They must have felt appreciated yesterday and therefore were more motivated.  It goes to show that a bit of gratitude goes a long way!

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After breakfast, it's time to check out and head for the airport later in the day. Then I will return to the other double life in Singapore. I sometimes wonder which one is real?

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Bucky Group 37 - Journalism

14th February 2009

I rushed down to the Bucky session though I wasn't feeling too well with the cough and the flu. Nevertheless, I made it on time.

At the usual opening of "What I have to say...", one of us brought up this book called "One Hen", which is a children's book about social enterprise and hard work. This is very much like what I am helping my friend with, but in his case, it is by rearing cows.

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This morning, we had the privilege to have Henrik, a correspondent based in Singapore, from the Danish Broadcasting Corporation, to share with us his experience as a journalist, via a talk called, "The Meeting between East and West, from Presidents to Pedestrians".

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[The following is spoken in first person for the purpose of readability. It is not a record of his speech ad-verbatim. This is all written from memory with my flu and thundering cough. Not very good journalistic practice!]

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Hello, my name is Henrik. In English, you call it "Henry". I grow up in Denmark. My venture into other countries started when a friend of mine run a business that exploited the cheap prices of cars for export in Denmark and were therefore attractive for other Europeans to buy.  I helped my friend in the business in the business to deliver (drive) the cars to his customers.

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My usual experience of Germany is one with many autobahns without speed limits. So that was my experience delivering those cars much of the time. Then one day, I took a wrong turn and went into Bayern (Bavaria) and realised that it is very beautiful. That experience made me realize that I should never be afraid of leaving the "right and safe path".

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From that experience, I decided to visit Eastern European to learn more about those countries. However, after some time, I realised that other than having been communists before, they aren't that different. Basically, they are still much like us.

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It was only when I went to India that I discovered that there it was really different. (Still grinning and shaking head in awe and ridicule. ) There, many things that are normal in Europe are not normal there, like the chaotic order of people, traffic,...etc.

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Denmark is a peaceful place with not many changes over long periods of time. There is not much you can report that is new in the place. You can almost get a newspaper from ten years ago and read it as if it is today's news. So I thought, it will be more interesting if I become a foreign correspondent.

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Then, I decided to learn more about Algeria and the French language. I thought that will give myself some edge and specialisation as  a journalist. When I was living there, it was the first time in my life that I was living alone without any friends or family around. I couldn't just call up a friend to go for a meal or a movie - simple things that I could do commonly in Danmark. That was a new experience to me.

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Then I got a job with the Danish Broadcasting Corporation, which I have been with now for a long time. The Danish Broadcasting Corporation is like your BBC, but only we are not quite that big. 

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Then, I got divorced. At this time, then I am free from being tied down to a place. I became myself again. 

[Me: Yes, normally one reverts to oneself, when divorced. *laughters*] 

[Someone else: He made a wrong turn!!! *laughters*]  

So, I decided to do some traveling. 

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I then visited Singapore and was happy that it is a nice modern city and that English is spoken here. So I was thinking that since the Danish Broadcasting Corporation has no correspondent here in Singapore, it'll be a good chance for me to report on the regional news through the eyes and viewpoint of a Dane, not just listening to the American's.

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It is also here that I met a beautiful lady, whom I started dating. I like her very much and later asked her to marry me, which she agreed and becomes my wife. 

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My wife is from Dalian and she loves the order and cleanliness of Singapore and refused to be based anywhere else in South East Asia other than Singapore. The chaos in Jakarta and Bangkok just wouldn't be acceptable for her. I didn't mind. I just needed a city with a good big airport and good Internet connections. The fact that English is spoken here and that it is safe here also helped.

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When I first came here, I came with the usual Western package of democratic ideal. This is not so much anymore, as I realised that political and cultural situations are very different in the region. This happens a lot with Western diplomats that come with their ideals to impose on Asia. 

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Me: You can bring the free sex. *in jest*

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Yes free-sex we can. *laughters* 

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[My note: I was being sarcastic about some items in the Western package that seems to have seeped into the Eastern spheres of life.]

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Questions:

What is "freedom of expression"?

The freedom to express what you want. There are still defamation laws governing what you can say, so there is this balance. Respect is still needed. I don't subscribe that if you give such freedom to everyone, then everyone is going to be rabid. Most people are sensible and can separate fact from fiction. In Singapore, nobody is going to believe you if you tell them your own stories.

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Flip: In Singapore the freedom is included in the laws.

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Me: Yes, but it is much subjected to the Minister's abitrary discretion.

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Me: In Singapore, it is not the problem of freedom of expression, but the freedom after expression! *laughters*

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Is there a guideline for freedom of expression?

Me: In Singapore - Yes! That answers your question.

Elaine: No, I want to hear from him, the real world.

Flip: If there are, then it won't be considered free.

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Were you given a set of guidelines?

No. When I first came, it was very hard. I thought I could call up people and get some information, but people here are very unwilling to talk. When the Election came in 2006, I thought it will be an excellent chance to hear what people would say, but  nobody wanted to talk. Even the Opposition party didn't want to talk. So, I started a 'vox-populi' (voice of the people) thing to stop people in the street to ask them, but nobody talked.

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Joo Hock: In Singapore, you can go to the coffeeshop and listen. They discuss about politics there. 

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Me: But you need to know dialects and Mandarin.

Then slowly I build my network. It took me some time. For every story, I need to have two independent sources to confirm the facts. If you write with only one source, you are asking for trouble.

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Now, I have built enough trust through my network to get officials to grant interviews. After some time, they realise that I am not causing trouble and just want to report.

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Do you think  a reporter should inform or influence?

Depends. If it is a regime like Pol Pot, then he needs to influence. Otherwise, he just reports. In most situations, he just needs to report.

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Me: How about Reporteurs Sans Frontier? They actually create news and reported it themselves. For instance by displaying the "Free Tibet" banner when the Chinese Minister was speaking during a press meeting. They should be just reporting on what is happening, not participate and report.

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[By the way, there are good parts of Reporteurs Sans Frontier in that they help journalists to get out of being imprisoned by some dictatorial regimes.]

How about the responsibility of a reporter to use discretion in certain sensitive situations?

For instance, in a case where a Chinese man beats up a Malay man in a pub in Singapore.

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I would recognise the sensitivity and report as a fight between two (say) drunk men over (say) ten dollars or something trivial and at the end discreetly mention that one is Malay and one is Chinese.

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Do you use the Internet?

Yes, I do, but with caution. One do not based one's reporting on information from the Internet. I don't believe in information coming purely from the Internet.

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However, the Internet has a major influence on regimes, like Malaysia.

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Me: In Singapore too. Truth hidden by mainstream papers are revealed by blogs. There are some good political bloggers in Singapore, eg. The Yawning Bread. 

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Yes, and if you notice, the good ones practises the same principles in good journalism, like checking and confirming their information from multiple sources.

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Someone: During the recent Mumbai Bombings, many mainstream reporters from major agencies were using information typed in from Twitter. Do you use that?

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I don't use information purely from the Internet. If I am put in a situation that I must, then I'll need four independent sources to verify its accuracy.

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Me: There is a de-facto ranking in the Internet. 'Bad' blogs have their rights to exist, but almost nobody reads them.

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Comment from the floor: Yes, we are discussing about politics. So what, there is nothing wrong discussing about politics. There shouldn't be a fear to discuss about politics.

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[At this point, I could see some surprise in Henrik's face over this vocalism. It is perhaps a situation that he has yet to experience among unexpressive Singaporeans.]

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Joo Hock: By the way, this is how we are here. We are quite open.

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Joo Hwa: Don't worry, we are not underground ok? We are just in the basement. *laughters*

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Some people ask me if a journalist move from broadsheet to tabloid papers, does it mean that he has become a lower quality journalist. Usually, that is not the case, as the facts reported are usually correct and having gone through the usual checks. However, his report is now sensationalised.  This is the low end of journalism, sadly.

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Me (not Henrik): About politics in the East vs in the West

I find there are problems in both East and West regarding democracy. Except that they are different types of problem. In Singapore, I have written to the Prime Minister twice to make some suggestions, which were adopted and implemented very quickly. Now I won't be able to get this done in Europe. In Europe, I can't even get to write to the Prime Minister, let alone effect changes. So where is it more democratic? 

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The difference between East and West, is that in the latter,  there is more checks and balances, to ensure that power is not abused. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely - this saying is tested true in the many countries I live in. After some time, the person who has the absolute power given to him, thinks that it is his right to have that power.

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From my experience and in my opinion, I find the quality of politicians in Singapore is higher than that those in Europe. Europe is in  a grid lock of too much checks and balances and yet corruption persists. *sigh*

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In Sickness and In Health 12 - the Flow

My cough is unbearable and I needed the cough syrup badly, but the bottle is closed tight. The cap refused to budge even with my bull-strength trying to open it. Tying a rubber band on the cap to enable better hand grip to open didn't work. It was a long time ago since I had a cough and opened the bottle, so the syrup had solidified around the screw threads and glued the cap to the bottle in a deadly embrace.

Not much else I could do, I turned the problem literally on its head in hot water.

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After just a few minutes, it opened without any resistance. I was expecting it to give at least a bit of struggle,... but none at all! The cap turned open effortlessly and smoothly. 

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From that, I wonder if it is the same with life. That is, if we have the correct ingredients and the correct steps in the correct order, life will just flow. [NLP experts would attest to that!] If we get the ingredients, steps or order wrong, then life will be a struggle.

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Makes me wonder how I can improve my life in these respects.

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In Sickness and In Health 11 - Cough

Can't win! I fought the mosquitoes with the essential oil and burner and now the mosquitoes are gone and I get a cough. Add a bit of stress and I am now down with flu. But I still gotta keep my heads high. In sickness and in health, it shouldn't make a difference...