The flu went on but I continued with my experiment with myself to see if I can keep my mind above all the backaches, giddiness, cough, drowsiness and fever. I managed quite well. I told myself that since my energy was so low, every ounce was precious and many incidents and issues that normally would have mattered to me ordinarily would not be allowed to matter. Then incidentally, one of my business associates at this time was still calling me and was very unreasonable, but it didn't affect me. I was proud that I stayed above it all. It reminds me of the saying, "If you didn't mind, it didn't matter."
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This went on well. Then gradually I got better. First the cough went, then the backache went, I could then breathe better and feel less drowsy. During this period, the same bothersome business associate came back and was persistent with his unreasonableness despite knowing that I was unwell. This time he did irritate me! "How come?" I wondered. I shouldn't be irritated since I am feeling better now. I should be able to see above everything else even better now that I feel better. Why can't I be above it all like when I was hardly breathing?
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At this point, I realised that at the time when I was physically weakest, my faith was strongest. Then, I knew that I could not afford to waste any bit of energy left in my body. However, as the body recovers, physical comfort slipped in and I had gradually allowed my mind to descend to the usual pettiness! Oh dear! How did I allow that?! :)
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I remember a time in Singapore when most of us were poor. Physical comfort, if at all, was very spartan but we didn't know any better. Everybody helped everybody else within strong communities and I could not remember anyone feeling lonely or uncared for. Fast forward forty years on and you now find most people keeping to themselves in their flat after work, watching television, surfing the Internet or indulging in their own material comforts. Now do we find lonely people.
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