Jim Carrey's Commencement Address, Mahrashi University of Management Graduation 2014

A very inspiring speech by Jim Carey.


The entire speech is inspiring and the one minute starting from 10'18" sums it all.
When confronted between Love and Fear, choose Love.  I believe that we all know that, but many are too afraid to take that leap of faith. Isn't it funny?

Get a Life!

"Get a life!" so she said, describing those of her friends who are married and whom she said merely rush and fetch their children from childcare, get home and then cook dinner everyday.

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She on the other hand, single and a well-paid lawyer, goes out in the evenings and party, and travel, hike and climb mountains for holidays. That's what she thinks is "life" to her.

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But aren't all these just activities?

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Activities are just manifestations of life, and life is more meaningful if manifested through love. In the midst of the daily seemingly mundane chores of taking care of the family and children, is life lived through love.

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On the other hand, activities in the absence of love hardly bring one much 'life'. These could well include pubbing, clubbing and dining in places among single well-heeled yuppies and glamorous people who are 'hanging-out', especially if they are there out of the fear of loneliness and disorientation.

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So it is not the activity, but whether it is done out of love.

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Cats' Play - Mother's Love... the saga continues...

The story didn't quite end happily ever after. Soon after adoption, two of the five kittens died. The mother cat then took the remaining three kittens away, and all four of them - mother and kids have again vanished into the wilderness.

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For other posts on "Cats' Play", click here.

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Cats' Play - Mother's Love

Look at these cute little kittens. These harmless little creatures, how could anyone possibly be afraid of them? Isn't it surprising to know there are people who have such phobia?

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I was called upon by one such petrified person to get these little creatures out of her storeroom where the mother cat had secretly delivered them and housed them in.

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Two other guys were called prior to me. The first one dared not handle kittens so young as he felt that they were too delicate and so he left. The second one went there and tried grabbing them out by brute force one by one, but they (all five of them) clinged tightly together and refused to be removed.

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When I arrived, the kittens meowed and crawled out to me. I didn't even have to lure them out. They all happily came to me and allow me to pick them up. Somehow, they trusted me and volunteered themselves into my hands. Clearly, the kittens had sensed that I love them and wouldn't harm them. I then gently took them one-by-one and put them in a box, and brought them away from the petrified person.

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That was step one completed - bringing the kittens away from someone with a phobia. The next step was to find them a new home. That needed time, so we wanted to leave the kittens in a temple a few doors away temporarily before we can find someone to adopt them, but the temple caretakers said that the kittens were too young and that they will die without the presence of their mother. Without a better option, we left the kittens in a box with some water just outside the house where they were born, just to keep them near enough for the mother to find them and far enough from the petrified occupier of the house.

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Soon after we took the kittens out, the desperate looking mother cat came and quickly picked up her kittens away. She was very apprehensive and stared at us to check if we would harm her litter while she took them away one by one. Realising that we were causing the anxiety to the cat, we decided to leave them alone.

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The next morning, the kittens were in the house again, probably brought in by the mother cat who felt that was the safest place for her litter. The house owner was again petrified. Something hard for normal people like us to understand, but it was a commotion.

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Luckily, for the kittens, a friend of my niece came and decided to adopt all the five kittens including the mother cat; and so the story ended happily - for the cats and the petrified person.

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For other posts on "Cats' Play", click here.

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A Child's Prayer

Prayer for Dad

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Dear God,

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Please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dad's computer.

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Amen

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[Sent to me by a friend. Author unknown, but thanks for such refreshing humour.]

Kids Play - Nice Teacher

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Zee is a gutsy little 8 year old talking to her teacher...

Zee: I like Miss Tan, she is gentle, sweet and nice to me. I like her. You (referring to her teacher), you are mean, and I don't like you!!!

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Teacher (paused, and gently replied): Yes, but sometimes the mean ones are the ones that love you most...

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Everything is OK

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Choose what you like from this video, you don't have to believe that 'everything is ok'.

What you did not choose probably doesn't feel ok with you, but can be ok to others.

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Love and Light!

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For those reading this from facebook, click here.

Fat Hope

"My son loves his slimmer mummy more!" so the ad says.

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Can this possibly be so?

In the story, the little boy merely said that his mum looked more beautiful when she was slimmer, not that he now loves her any less. Besides, children are still pure. They love their mum regardless.

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Slimming clinics should not taint the innocence of children and exploit the fears of anorexic mothers, or women in general, just to get more customers. I wonder what the Media Development Authority say about unethical claims like these.

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Rich Son Poor Son

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The story outline:
Four elderly ladies were having a get together meal in Malaysia. They chatted about how well the children were doing in their careers.
Three of the ladies' children spoke that their children were doing well. They worked as partners in an accountancy firm, a law firm and a medical clinic. They earned a lot of money, held significant equities in the company, bought new houses, etc...
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When the 4th lady was asked how her son wasdoing ( in career context ), she replied that he was good and that he was coming to take her out. Then her son came with his wife and children to drive her to a mountain resort for holiday.
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The video ends with the message - love of the family is life's greatest blessing.

How to design a reliable banking system...

Sending money across countries should be easy, and normally so. Not unless you are unlucky and run into a snag like I had in the last two weeks. What was supposed to be a simple transfer became a painfully long nine-day drag and still with no money arriving at the other end.

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As Murphy's Law has it, if things can go wrong, they will! And it can't choose a worse time than this, as the money had to reach some businesses quickly or they will go bust. Employees will be laid off and families will be affected.

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Understandably, the bank will not reveal what went wrong, but based on my discussions with them and my twenty odd years experience as a IT and management consultant for banks in major international banking centres, this was probably what happened:

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1. When the bank staff entered the transfer details on screen:

The beneficiary account details was too long and exceeded the field space provided. As a result, the account details got truncated.

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2. When sent to the beneficiary bank, they didn't know what to make out of the truncated data (beneficiary account details) and the transaction just sat there.

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Diagnostic tedium:

1. The banking software that facilitated the transfer should have a longer field size. If this field size is exceeded, the bank staff must not be able to press the 'send' button.

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2. So granted that the software is poorly designed and failed to prevent it to be sent, there should then be automatic error handling to auto-correct the beneficiary account details before proceeding to 'send'.

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3. If it failed to implement corrective actions for 1 and 2, then the transaction with truncated data should be flagged in the transaction log when it reaches the beneficiary bank. I suspect, there is such a log, but the operator sitting in front of the screen was probably 'sleeping'.

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Moral of the story:

What started as a 'minor' mistake of poor user-interface design and error handling, can result in business going bust, employees being laid-off and families spiralling down into a financial grind.

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So in whatever you do, even the seemingly mundane ones, do them mindfully, for the ripple effects whether big or small,always travel a long way. It is harder to see this in the cold and impersonal Internet and mobile phone age, but nevertheless the impacts on humans, other life forms and the environment remains unchanged from the ages of old.

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Rule of Thumb:

Put love first in whatever you do. When you do that, everything falls in place. In this instance, if the designer had done so, he would have captured the user requirements more comprehensively. He would then not just see the entry fields as just a place to handle account data, but an opportunity to serve and help the end user send money to a chosen destination on time.

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The operator sitting in front of the transaction log screen, admittedly a mundane role, will get his drive from being able to serve his clients so that many others will be happy and sing praises for him. If he treats it as a 'job', then it would be mundane and possibly fall 'asleep' like many others.

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Conclusion:

While it is important to get the technology right during software development, quite often, a disproportionate amount of time is spent on the aesthetics of the screen, the programming language to use, the server to use, the communications protocol to adopt...etc, compared with the user requirements.

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In the end, any system will be a system to serve others. If it doesn't serve others, then it would have fallen short of its purpose.If the designer of the banking software could cut his mind across time and space, he would be able to take delight that I would be able to send the money on time and save some people from going bust and families away from financial hardships.

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PS. I cancelled the old transfer and re-sent a new one today. The bank branch manager offered to lend me the money personallly to re-send, as re-calling the money will take too long. I was touched! So, even in a critical fallout like this, pleasant things do happen. In darkness, there is light; and in light there is darkness. Perhaps such events occur so that we have opportunities to exercise compassion. :)

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Friday Dhamma

29th May 2009

This is the regular Friday Dhamma talk by Dr Aaron Lim of the Bodhifellowship in Malacca, Malaysia.

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I had a terrible stomach ache and was not very attentive during the session. The notes are based on what I remember, as I didn't take notes that evening. The notes are written in first-person account, for readability. It is not an ad-verbatim record.

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For those of you who are new to this centre, you may find this place to be a little strange. It is not only strange to Muslims but also can be strange to others. Sometimes, we have the air-con servicing man here and he thought it is a church, as he saw the picture of Jesus Christ, but then later he saw also the picture of Buddha, Baba...etc.

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The Earth is said to be 4.5 billion years old, of which mankind exists for only 500,000 years. Before that, there were dinasaurs roaming around. There were no human beings then. What we watched on movies about dinasaurs chasing early primitive men are but the imagination of the movie maker.

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Then came an asteroid that hit Earth and then annihilated all the dinasaurs. So at that time, there were no dinasaurs and there were no human beings. So at that time, was there God?

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We know that we are living on the Earth's surface, which is really sitting on moving plate tectonics. That is, long ago the land mass of the Americas were connected to the land mass of Africa, but it has since drifted so far apart. So geological changes are constantly happening on Earth. After some time, the countries that we know of will not be there anymore. So there may be no more Singapore, Malaysia...etc. So, we have to drop our attachments to what we are fixed with.

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When we pray, it should not be a prayer of lack. If so, you will get more lack. Give prayers of gratitude that the money is already there. For those who have more will be added to you, for those who do not have, more will be taken away from you.

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About in-born talent.

What is it? Is there such thing as an inborn talent?

If you are good at something from very young, it means that you have done it before in your last incarnation. For instance my son - from a very young age, he has already exhibited an entreprenerial flair. Now he is meeting up with bigger players in business. Now at the time when he was little, his acumen and interest in business cannot have come from me. I didn't know how to impart such knowledge at that time.

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But be careful, for a blessing in one incarnation can be a burden in the next incarnation. For instance there is this little boy who was a Ripoche in his previous incarnation and refused to be touched by his mother. So, the mother ended up loving the other son more, as he likes to be hugged and cuddled by his mother.

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It is human of the mother to react more lovingly to the child that is more approachable. Likewise, if I am a hotel guest and if I leave everything the same way in the room after using it, I will be liked more by the inn-keeper. Then next time, I will be treated better. So be a breeze and leave things the same way they are everywhere we go. Everyone loves a breeze. Nobody likes a tornadoe.

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Put love first:

Put love first in whatever you do. Love supersedes any other reasons. When I was in Tonga, I was presented with a roasted suckling pig in one whole piece for my feasting. It was right there in front of me, the highest honour given to a guest by the Chief. I had to 'officiate' the dish, by cutting the roasted pigling up. It was hard, but I did it. I also ate a piece of it. Now does that matter? They are all but form.

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I am not against vegetarians, but it is important not to get to this vegetarian snobbery too. That means, showing up one's superiority because of the choice to be a vegetarian.

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Listen

Got this great video clip from Mastery TV.

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CARESS

C - Concentrate

A - Acknowledge

R - Respond

E -  Exercising Emotional Control

S -  Sensing

S -  Structure

When you listen, you offer a package of the most valuable healing gifts you can give: compassion, consolation, and forgiveness.

   --  James Kullander

Every person in this life has something to teach me -- and as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening.

   --  Catherine Doucette

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.

   --  Dr. Karl Augustus Menninger (1893-1990)

A person's real need, a most terrible need, is for someone to listen ... not as a 'patient' but as a human soul.

   --  Carl Rogers

If you are reading this on facebook and cannot see the video, click here

Till Death Do Us Part, 3 - Heart-to-Heart

I got this from an email from a friend (original source unknown):

Why do People Shout In Anger?

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' 

The disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.' 

'But, why do we have to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' 

The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. 

Finally, he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are distanced. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. 

The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance." 

Then the saint asked, "What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? 

Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small..." 

The saint continued, "When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not just speak, they whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they do not even need to whisper, they look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other."

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. 

It's a Dog's Life - Puppy Love

We had new kittens when I was in Europe six months ago, now back in Singapore, we get three new Shetland pups from Cookie. They are just six days old in the picture, eyes still closed and relying entirely on their mother's milk.

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On the first day of their birth, the mother kept herself in the same position till late at night, forgoing her meals, so that her pups can have her milk. It was till the pups were well fed and that she was so hungry that she had her supper that night.

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On the second day, as the maid went to change the towel in her den, Cookie thought that she was going to take her pups away. By the time the maid came back with the fresh towels, two of the pups where missing from her den and hidden elsewhere (under the bed).

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It is fascinating to observe the motherly love instinctive in all animals. Cats do the same caring for their kittens when they are very little, they will let their kittens eat first, and only when her kittens are well-fed that the mother cat will eat what is left.

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Rewards 5 - What Rewards?

Here's another video from Petronas...
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Daily Contemplation

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Now here is what I know will bring you joy. Decide that the rest of your life -- every day, every moment, every word -- is something that you will share with everyone whose life you touch in a way that ensures that they will know there is nothing they have to do, nowhere they have to go, and no way they have to be, in order to be loved by you right now. Let them know that they are perfect just as they are, just as they are standing there.

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-- Neale Donald Walsch

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Daily Contemplation is a free email service from Bodhi Fellowship / Center For Inner Peace to inspire and empower you to live a spiritually-centered and loving life.
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Invite A Friend: subscribe@bodhifellowship.org

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You may also like to read my post on "Conversations with God". Click here

Bucky Group 27 - Love

7th June 2008 - "A Way to God - Love" by Anthony di Mello, video viewing session

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There was an 8 year boy who had committed murder, armed robbery and other violent crimes at that young age and could not be brought to court nor brought to the reformative centres. So the police brought him to Father Flanagan, the founder of Boys' Town.
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While in the train on the way to Father Flanagan, the boy (who revealed that in his book years later) that knowing that he was going to a priest, he resolved that he would kill anyone who would say "...I love you...", to him. And in all probabilities he would do it, as this is coming from a boy who was a killer.
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When Father Flanagan met him, he looked at him, asked him his name and briefed him that there will be someone bringing him around to look at the place and eventually he would have a job there. So he asked him to go and choose something he wanted to do, but to take his time as there was no hurry. Those brief few minutes changed the boy's life.
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The boy wrote in his book that when he looked into Father Flanagan's eyes, he immediately felt love, though Father didn't said the word. You see, love is immediately transmitted to others even though we do not say it. Our thoughts tranfer.
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[I wonder why this doesn't work with girl friends or wives! Why do women need to have love explicitly expressed? hmm... food for thought.]

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To Father Flanagan, there is no such thing as a 'bad boy'. Sure he saw what crimes the boy had committed, but he separated the sin from the sinner.
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In an experiment carried out by some psychologists, they brought some ordinary kids to a school and told the teachers that these kids are of high IQ and are categorised as "Spurters" (though there was no such categorisation in psychology). After a few months, a follow-up IQ test was conducted and all the kids in the group gained 12 to 36 points in their IQ.
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Our thoughts can transform people. This was even found to work with laboratory mice. Even the mice performed better in the experiments.
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Exercises:
1. Think of someone you love and feel how it is.
2. Think of someone you do not like at all, and see if you can see some good of that person.
3. Think of what you will think of that person with Jesus next to you.
4. Think of what names Jesus will call you when he meets you.

Discussions:

SC has a friend who doesn't trust anyone. No one at all, and all of them have proven to be untrustworthy in the end. Personally, I wouldn't trust someone who doesn't trust anyone else. Someone like this is not honest himself/herself.

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So how do we trust people. There are many of us in the room who has at some point trusted somebody only to be let down. I think the fallacy most people have is that being trusting meant that we become 'blind' to what is happening. I trust people, but am not blind.

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"But is that judgment?" someone asked.

Observing and accepting observations as they are, are not judgments. Judgments only come when we start hating that person.

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I have a friend, whom I think is a very loving man. He never despise anyone. He never talk ill about people or situations. However, he is also blind to many 'odd' situations around him. He would even dream up excuses for people who harmed him. In the end he become a bankrupt. How does that serve him by being 'loving' and blind? I put 'loving' in quotes, because I am thinking if he actually love himself. To understand love, we have first to love ourselves. That means to go into situations with our eyes open and protect ourselves. It doesn't mean to be untrusting, but to be truthful to what is happening before our eyes.

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Rachel said we tend to look at the 'bad' sides of a person when they are alive and only speak good of them in their funeral!

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Joo Hwa's Timeout:

There is a pig and a cow in a farm. Everyone loves the cow and not the pig. The pig couldn't understand that as they would eat almost every part of his body. The cow on the other hand only provides milk and she is not even slaughtered. The pig then confronted the cow with the question, which the cow replied, "I serve everyone when I am alive. You only serve others when you are dead!" *laughters*

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Joo Hock related a story about a new comer at the gates of the city who asked an old wise man how the people in the city are like. The wise man then asked what type of people lives in the city he comes from and the new comer said, "Oh! Horrible people. They are unkind and unloving...". Then the wise man said, "Yes, in this city you will meet the same type of people." The newcomer went to live in the city and then meet horrible, unkind and unloving people.

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A few days later, another newcomer came to ask the wise man the same question and he asked the newcomer the same question, "What type of people lives in the city where you come from?" The newcomer replied, "Fantastic people. Kind and loving." Then the newcomer went to live in the city and meet fantastic, kind and loving people.

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The moral of the story is that, as we do not see the positive aspects of people, we will end up attracting the very kind of people that are lingering in our thoughts.

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Joo Hock added that, actually there is no 'good' and 'bad'. They are both part of the whole. The universe does not discriminate against 'good' and 'bad'. Just like the Ying and Yang sign. There is the black and white. In the black, there is a dot of white. In the white, there is the dot of black.

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At this point, I realised that Father Anthony uses 'good' and 'bad' quite often. Perhaps this is due to his Catholic background. I also noticed that of people of other religions. Buddhist monks do the same, they preach what is 'good' and what is 'bad'....

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Tao 3 - Wealth and Love

The following is what I learned from a Tao lecture...

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About Wealth

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During the days of the legendary Emperors in China, successors to the throne were not chosen based on bloodlines, but rather that the person had attained Tao. In old China, an Emperor was one who had the mandate from Heaven to rule. Heavens will bestow all the wealth of the land to the man who has attained Tao, as he will have the compassion and wisdom to manage the wealth for his people.

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However, as time went, due to the greed of humankind, successors to the throne became the sons of the Emperors, and sometimes the son who managed to survive the fights and assasinations.

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So if we want to seek wealth, we should only seek the wealth that is within. When we have attained Tao within, wealth will come, as we will then be wise and responsible enough to manage the resources to the highest good of humankind.

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In the Bible, it is said that "... those who have it, more will be added to you, and those who do not have it, more will be taken away from you...". This does correlate well with this Tao teaching.

About Motherly Love

Once upon a time in a village in Singapore where the Tao master used to live in, there was a mentally insane woman. Her husband had left her and she was alone to take care of her two kids. Her mind was so deranged that she would use the planks of her wall of her hut for the fire for cooking. Isn't that mad?

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However, while she was mad, she remained a fantastic mother. She knew how to feed the kids, care for and protect her kids. This is because loving her children and motherly love is an instinct, and not an action for calculated returns. If it is one of calculated returns, then all mothers will be running at a huge loss, as such repayments can never be fulfilled no matter how much the children would want to pay.

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The children of this mother were also teased in school. The other kids called them mad children, but that didn't upset them, because they were very young and at that age, their mother is the greatest person in the world - the one who love and cared for them most.

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Babies and very young children also would not say that their mother is ugly, even if she is deformed, untidy and unpresentable to many people. To them, there is no such thing as an ugly mother. The mother they know of is the most beautiful person in the world. When they are bullied by other children, they will run to their mother, no matter how ugly other people would perceive her to be.

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It is perhaps later when children 'grow up' and are subjected to external influences that they gradually feel ashame of their mother. Ashamed when they turn up in their college, or work place, since some mothers, by then, would have grown old and even haggard. By then, sadly, these children would have forgotten that it was their 'ugly mother' who loves them so much and brought them up. In short, these children have forgotten about their true nature, their instinct, which is to love their mother and love them unconditionally.

Bucky Group 9 - Love

Movie
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This week we continue with the documentary movie series on Happinesss - with "Schopenhauer on Love". While love is central to our lives, surprising few philosophers write about the subject leaving it mostly to poets and composers. Schopenhauer born in 1788 in Germany is one of the rare few.

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The documentary focused on marriage and romantic love and opine that human beings largely go into marriage for the purpose of propagating the species. During that courtship, subconsciously couples select physical features of their mates that will complement and improve on their dificiencies - such that they will produce healthier babies. For instance, a very tall guy may choose a shorter wife for fear that if he does otherwise, he may end up with children who are too tall to survive. In other words during courtship, biology is stronger than reason, and it all works on us sub-consciously.

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Since it is all so subconscious and we get ourselves so engrossed in the selection of mates to produce healthy babies, we forget that this may not bring us lifetime happiness. On the contrary, many couples get into matrimony with expectations that it is a route to their happiness.

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Looking at the animal kingdom, they too have their instinct to propagate their species. However, they do not do it merely to produce offsprings and have no expectations of happiness. Should human beings take a lesson from the animal kingdom? Or at least we should go into a marriage with our eyes open that we are strongly guided by our subsconscious need to propagate our species rather than all the fantasies of romance and everlasting happiness. [movie ends here].

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Discussions

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One of the participants mentioned of an experiment that had photographs of married couples mixed in a pile and had ordinary people who doesn't know any of the couples pair them up based on their looks. Surprisingly, they managed to pair the husbands and wives correctly to a very high score. Evidence, that married couples have complementary facial features. Or is it that they tend to look alike after living together for sometime?

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Joo Hock then said that some dogs grow to look like their masters after some time - much to everyone's laughter.

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It was said that many Singaporeans marry because they want to buy a HDB flat (public housing), as only married couples are qualified to buy. And so they get married because of the dwelling. If it is any consolation, animals do that too! Birds, for instance, build a beautiful nest to attract their females to live with them. So this mating/courtship rituals are already very much built into our instincts.

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Here's some worthy parts of our discussions... that happiness comes from within...
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And about egg nests...
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So once again, sitting on swivel salon chairs, surrounded by mirrors, perm stylers and shampoo bottles, we finished another worthy session of the Bucky Group with a "Whoosh!"
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Past Posts:
Bucky Group 8 - Self Esteem,
Bucky Group 7 - Thinking Out of the Box,
Bucky Group 6 - Specialisation,
Bucky Group 5 - Independent Thinking,
Bucky Group 4 - Local, Global and Universal-Penang Hill,
Bucky Group 2,
Bucky Group,Usury 2b - World Game,
Usury 2a - World Game,
Usury 2 - World Game,Usury,

Kids Play 5 - Clever Boy

There was a tree rotting in its core and might fall and crash onto the neighbour's house. The insurance does not cover third party damage due to falling trees. Cutting down the tree is expensive as it has to be cut slowly part by part, instead of doing it in one fell. Vic seeing that his mum is concerned with the costs, said, "Mum, just report that the tree has fallen after an unusually heavy storm, the insurance will cover that."

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Surprised at what the 11 year old had said, mum went to check the insurance papers and true enough, compensation will be meted out if damage is caused by heavy storms. "How did this little boy know so much?" mum wondered, delighted at his quick mind.

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Much as mum knew that Vic meant well, she went over to him and said, "Vic, you are right about the insurance, but that's not the point. If the tree falls on the house, the little kids there will not have a house. So it is not just about the money, much as I would like to save this money."

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Vic listened intently, reflected deeply for a while, then nodded in agreement.

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Whilst many mums aspire their kids to be smart, it is also important to teach them about love. In this cut and thrust market economy amid the intricate webs of commerce and contracts, the clever mind usually wins against many odds. Many times, this mean disadvantaging the weak and slow. Teaching kids to love their neighbours as they love themselves at an early age is therefore crucial.

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Past posts: Kids Play, Kids Play 2, Kids Play 3, Kids Play 4, Soar above the clouds, Usury