Blame - The Sexy Women

Malaysian spiritual leader of Parti-Islam in reference to women who wear sexy clothes in public complained

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"We always (hear about) the abuse of children and wives in households, which is easily perceived by the eye, but the emotional abuse of men cannot be seen... Our prayers become unfocussed and our sleep is often disturbed."

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Poor fella. If only he can stop thinking about these sexy women.

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But where should the buck stop?

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It reminded me of the story of two Buddhist monks who were walking along a river to their temple. Halfway they saw a woman drowning in the river. One of the monks rushed to save the woman, carried her to the shore, and as the woman was unhurt, he left her there and proceeded with his walk.

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The second monk who didn't help started lecturing the first monk who helped, since monks are not supposed to touch women. The first monk explained that the woman would have otherwise drowned, but the second monk was not satisfied and went on and on about the first monk's misbehaviour. Feeling helpless, the first monk just kept quiet and let the complaining rant on until they reach the temple.

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At the temple, the second monk complained to the Abbot that the first monk had just touched a woman and monks are not supposed to touch women. The Abbot listened intently, smiled and replied to the second monk, "He has helped the woman, saved her from drowning and has already left her there hours ago, but you have kept that in your mind all along. So who do you think have been thinking of the woman all along?" At that point, the second monk was embarrassed and learned his valuable lesson.

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The human mind is such that by consciously not wanting to think of something, we subconsciously think of it more. This applies to everyone - monks and spiritual clerics alike.

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My other observation is that the second monk blamed the first monk for his own weakness. By blaming others, he gave up his own power of acknowledging, accepting and moving on and away from the woman. Likewise, why think of all those sexy women? Acknowledge that we are distracted, accept it and move on. Life is not all about sex!